What Is Broken
by My Whole Life Is Thunder
Summary: Life had a way of just getting mundane and people tended to start going through the motions. That is until something happened that knocked your world off it's axis. Each NCIS agent had there world knocked over more times than any cared to remember. Yes they appreciated certain things and people more than most, but they still tended to take things for granted. Until Tony gets sick.
1. Chapter 1

Life had a way of just getting mundane and people tended to start going through the motions. That is until something happened that knocked your world off it's axis. Each NCIS agent had there world knocked over more times than any cared to remember. Yes they appreciated certain things and people more than most, but they still tended to take things for granted. Even Leroy Jethro Gibbs himself tended to fall into the trap.

Jethro Gibbs switched on his coffee pot. The pot sputtered a bit, he sighed, unplugged the appliance, and monkeyed around with the pot and base until it sat flat again. He then plugged the device back in, switched it back on and walked over to table. He'd had the same pot for over a decade now. McGee had tried buying him one of those Keurig things last Christmas. He had made one pot to satisfy McGee and then gave it to a friend of his. He heard a knock on the door and looked at his watch. It was still early. He didn't even have to be at work for another hour. He walked over to the door and was surprised to see Tony and Tali on the other side. Tony had Tali slung over his shoulder. He was pale and looked beyond exhausted. Tali was her normal happy self, but Tony's face was enough to worry Jethro.

"What's wrong?" Jethro asked, skipping formalities.

"Nothing. I was just wondering if you would be willing to keep Tali for a while this afternoon? I have a doctor's appointment." Tony explained.

"What time?" Jethro asked.

"Six" Tony replied.

"That will be cutting it kind of close. Can Jimmy keep her for a bit just in case I don't get home in time?" Jethro asked.

"Jimmy is actually going with me." Tony replied.

"Palmer's going with you? Why?" Jethro replied.

"In case they give me something and I can't drive." Tony lied.

"Makes sense. Well I will see you later." Jethro replied.

Tony nervously drummed his fingers on the arm of the chair. Jimmy looked over at him with a look of concern on his face. Tony shrugged and went back to his nervous tapping. Jimmy was not buying it. He placed his hand on Tony's shoulder and squeezed it tightly. Tears had formed in Tony's eyes but he quickly wiped them away.

"It's going to be OK." Jimmy assured.

"I don't think it is." Tony argued.

"Tony you have to be positive." Jimmy reminded.

"It's kind of hard to be positive when you might have lung cancer." Tony scoffed.

"Tony there is a whole list of things this could be that are not cancer." Jimmy reminded.

"I just had the X-Ray yesterday and they put me in right away. Whatever it is it isn't good." Tony sighed.

"If it is what they say it is. If it's as bad as they say. Just know that we are going to be by your side every step of the way. Breena and I have talked it over. We have an extra bed in Tori's room and Tali can stay with us anytime." Jimmy explained.

"Thanks" Tony muttered.

"Did you tell Gibbs that you may have to stay overnight or do you need me to cover for you?" Jimmy asked.

"I don't want Gibbs to know anything until I know the results. Just get Tali and lie to Gibbs." Tony explained.

"Of course" Jimmy replied.

Soon after Tony was called back and Jimmy shot a quick text to Breena. Instructing her to collect Tali from Gibbs. Using the excuse that Tori wanted to see her friend and they figured that Jethro should have his evening. The text took just seconds to send and Breena replied back almost instantly. From there all Jimmy could do was wait. He regretted agreeing to bring Tony from the start. He knew why Tony had asked him and why Tony did not want anybody else to know. That made him feel worse. Tony trusted him and here he was falling apart. The wait seemed endless and every noise made him want to jump out his skin. Somebody offered to bring him food but he felt too sick to even think of keeping anything down. After what felt like a life time the doors opened and a doctor approached him.

"How is he?" Jimmy asked.

"He is out of surgery and moved to recovery. He should be moved to the ICU within an hour. As we discussed he will be intensive care at least overnight due to the previous damage to his lungs and his history of bad reactions to anesthesia. You will be able to see him as soon as he is set up in the ICU but it will have to be a short visit. We will have the results of his biopsy in seven to ten days but I am afraid the masses are larger than we thought." Dr. Philips explained.

"What's the prognosis?" Jimmy asked.

"If it is cancer and is the form Dr. Pitt suspects. Just spend as much time as possible with him." Dr. Philips explained.

In the ICU, Tony was hooked up to a ventilator. The tube was shoved deep down his throat and his newly stitched chest was exposed and wrapped in gauze. Jimmy felt sick at the sight. He was praying that the doctors were wrong and Tony did not have this cancer. That if he did have cancer it was not the type they suspected. They type they were talking about was aggressive and killed far stronger men than Tony. Not that Tony was weak, his body was weakened by the plague. Even though he was doing well or had been anyway. The damage had been done and Tony had a hard enough time fighting off simple infections. This cancer, if it was what they said. Tony was simply not strong enough. Tony was a fighter that was good but the numbers did not lie.

* * *

 **A/N: Another depressing story but the team will be written in a more positive light this time. For the most part. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	2. D Day

Tony stared up at the ceiling of the Palmer's guest room. He had become quite familiar with that sight over the past few days. He hadn't even gotten an official diagnosis yet and he was still too weak to do anything. Jimmy and Breena were amazing though. They were practically raising Tali, along with carrying for him, and raising their own daughter. They didn't seem to mind, or at least they didn't complain about it around him.

Given he could barely walk thirty feet to the toilet without being out of breath, he was pretty glad that he had moved back to the states. He had come back at the end of the summer. Tali had started noticing different types of families and begun asking about her family. Senior had slipped back into his old ways not long after moving to France. He took up with some girl, and last Tony heard he was living in Spain with another woman. As much as he adored Paris. He decided that Tali needed to live around people who knew her Ima and who he could call her family.

Looking back he had noticed the decline a few months back. His health had been stable for so many years. He did not bother finding a pulmonologist in Paris. He just told his GP the scars were from repeat pneumonia. He had become lethargic and had trouble catching his breath. He moved back to the states and Dr. Pitt found out right away. He was scheduled for an immediate appointment. The doctor knew something was wrong before he even began the exam. The X-Ray gave away the truth. Two masses on each lung. He was scheduled for an immediate biopsy. They were hoping to remove at least part of the tumors but they were too large and inoperable. Basically he was either going to have radiation or radiation and chemotherapy. Either way it was weeks to months of living hell. His phone rang, he pulled himself up and reached up for the buzzing rectangle. It was Dr. Pitt calling, this was the moment of truth. More accurately the moment of dread.

"Hello?"

"Tony?"

"Yeah"

"I have the results of your biopsy in and well. I think you need to get to Bethesda right away."

"OK"

Jimmy's heart was heavy as he waited for Tony in Dr. Pitt's office. Tony had fallen asleep in the car on the way to the hospital. He pretty much knew what the results were going to be. He wished that Tony had told Gibbs or anybody else. He wished that he did not have to endure this alone. Breena wanted to be there but somebody needed to stay with Tali and Tori. Jimmy pulled into the hospital parking lot and took the closest space he could use.

"Tony, wake up. We are here." Jimmy called.

"MK" Tony replied weakly.

Jimmy ended up having to borrow a wheelchair to push Tony back to Dr. Pitt's office. A few year back Tony had signed paperwork allowing Jimmy and/or Gibbs to be present for his medical appointments. Until today he had never invited either back. Gibbs forced his way back once but that was largely because Tony had withheld a few key details from him. Jimmy had never felt the need to even ask. In fact if it were up to him he would never have been there. At least not on a day like today. Not when Tony was about to receive devastating news.

Tony struggled to focus on what Dr. Pitt was saying. He had been prepared to hear every word of it but now that he was actually hearing it. Now that he had verbal confirmation, it was impossible not to keep calm. He looked over at Jimmy. He was trying to hide it but there were obvious tears in his eyes.

"I am afraid that the news is as bad as we had feared. Stage four lung cancer. We will need to run more tests to determine whether or not the disease has metastasized but it is extremely rare for a cancer this advanced to be localized." Dr. Pitt explained.

"What do I do? How do we treat this?" Tony questioned.

"I have researched a few clinical trials but the only treatment we can offer is radiation and chemotherapy." Dr. Pitt explained.

"What is the prognosis?" Tony asked.

"Well I can't say anything for sure until I know if the cancer has spread but given the stage of cancer and the state of your lungs. Tony I am sorry but this is terminal." Dr. Pitt apologized.

While he did not have an exact expiration date stamped on his forehead, Tony still knew that he was dying. He wanted to do any treatment he could, just to give him a shot at being around for Tori. He at least wanted to be around for Tali's preschool graduation in the spring. He doubted that he would be around for her first day of kindergarten in the fall. He hated to think about how much he was going to miss. He hated that he was likely to leave his only child orphaned before she had even turned five. From outside his room he heard Jimmy and Breena discussing the latest developments. Jimmy was taking the news really hard. Breena was hurting as well but she knew that she had to be the strong one.

"How are we going to tell Tali?" Breena asked.

"Tony wants to tell her. Today took a lot out of him. He said that he would tell her tomorrow." Jimmy explained.

"Poor kid. I feel absolutely terrible for her." Breena sighed.

"Me too" Jimmy agreed.

Gibbs had stopped by the Palmer's house to drop off Tony's portable DVD player. Emily Fornell had stayed with him for a couple days while Tobias was out of town for work. He had went to Tony's new apartment but the doorman had revealed that he had been staying with a friend. It took some prying but Gibbs found out that he was staying with the Palmer family. He knocked on the door. He waited and waited, he was about to give up when Tali answered.

"Gibbs!" Tali squealed jumping into the Marine's arms.

"Tali I am glad to see you, but you are too little to answer the door on your own. Where are Mr. and Mrs. Palmer?" Jethro asked.

"With Abba" Tali replied.

"Oh well can you go get one of them? I have something for you Abba?" Jethro questioned.

"Gibbs? What's lung cancer?" Tali asked.

"It's a very serious disease. Not like the illnesses that you catch at school. It's something very, very bad that doesn't happen easy." Jethro explained not wanting to scare the child.

"Is it bad enough to make you dead?" Tali asked.

"Afraid so, why are you asking about cancer? Did you see something on TV?" Jethro asked.

"No I heard Jimmy and Breena talking. Abba has it." Tali replied.

* * *

 **A/N: How will Gibbs take the news? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	3. Life In Hell

Jethro felt like he had been sucker punched square in the gut. He couldn't say that he was surprised. Tony had looked like shit for months now. Even before returning he would send pictures and he had been looking bad for a long time. Tony being in the states made things even more obvious. He got tired easily and always seemed to be out of breath. The appointment was another red flag. Seven days had passed and he had not heard anything from his son. Then Tony had suddenly moved out of his apartment. All signs pointed to bad news. He had prepared himself for a devastating blow. What he was not prepared for was hearing the news from Tali.

His heart broke for Tali. She was far too young to have to know about cancer and death. She had already lost her mom and nearly died herself. Now she was going to lose her father. Lung cancer was rough and Tony's body had already endured so much. He wanted to be positive knowing the circumstances made it hard to be positive. He felt tears welling up in his eyes but quickly wiped them away. Now was not the time to break down. Now was the time to be strong for the DiNozzo's and the Palmer's.

"Gibbs? When did you get here?" Jimmy asked.

"Just a minute ago. Tali let me in." Jethro replied.

"Tali you know you are not supposed to answer the door." Breena reminded.

"I didn't want to wake Abba." Tali explained.

"You should have gotten us." Jimmy replied.

"I'm sorry." Tali apologized.

"You are not in trouble but you will be next time. Now go play with Tori. We need to talk to Mr. Gibbs." Jimmy explained.

Even though he had already heard the news. Jethro still had to prepare himself to hear the news. He saw the look of pain on Jimmy's face. Tony and Jimmy had always been friends, Jethro could not imagine how painful this must be for him. Breena was hurting as well and poor sweet Tali was terrified. He dreaded having to face Tony.

"Tony gave us permission to tell you. He is going to tell everybody else tomorrow. His appointment the other day. He has lung cancer. We are waiting for the rest of the tests but they are almost certain that it has spread. More likely than not to numerous locations." Jimmy explained.

"Tali told me." Jethro replied.

"Tali knows?" Jimmy gasped.

"I'll go talk to her." Breena said.

"I know it's bad but how bad is it?" Jethro asked.

"It's bad." Jimmy replied.

"What are his chances?" Jethro asked.

"He is terminal. The question we are looking to answer his how long." Jimmy explained.

"They really can't do anything?" Jethro questioned.

"Bethesda can offer chemo and radiation. Dr. Pitt is looking into clinical trials but that would involve traveling to one of the big cancer hospitals. It is a process to get into a trial and Tony's very weak. Travel would be hard on him." Jimmy explained.

"What is he going to do?" Jethro asked.

"He is hoping to get into a trial but in the meantime we are going to do chemo and radiation." Jimmy explained.

Jethro talked with Jimmy for a few more minutes. He knew that Jimmy was trying to be optimistic but it was hard to have a positive outlook in this situation. He kept it together the entire time he was at the Palmer's house. Even when he could hear Tony coughing and Tali crying. Finally he had to get out of there. He said goodbye and rushed out. He wanted to breakdown in their driveway but he knew they would end up finding him there. Driving home was almost impossible, tears kept forming and his mind was racing. At long last he turned into his own driveway. He looked up at his house and was reminded that he had no shoulders to cry on. He buried his face in his arms and began to heavily sob. He was in a living nightmare.

Tony was drifting in and out of consciousness. After that last coughing fit he was hoping that he would just die. He was in a living hell and the treatment had not even started yet. Aggressive chemo and radiation, pretty much six weeks of hell. Three of radiation and six of chemo. Maybe a trial that would give him hope but most likely just a few extra weeks. If he was lucky. More likely than not three weeks in the hospital, one at home, and then another three inpatient. From there a few more days, weeks, and if a miracle happened months with his family. Life pretty much sucked.

Jimmy watched as Breena comforted Tali. He hated himself for talking about Tony's illness in the hallway. Now sweet Tali knew her father's fate. Breena was doing a great job explaining things and Tali seemed to understand. Unfortunately understanding meant learning the terrible truth. There was a good chance that Tony was going to die. The idea of Tali being orphaned devastated Jimmy. He wondered what would become of the girl after Tony died. Tony had never named specific God parents. He knew that Breena was willing. They wanted another child. Just not under these circumstances. Not after having to watch their friend and the father of their daughter's best friend die. Jimmy would never say it out loud but he was in hell.

After crying every last tear out of his body, Jethro forced himself out of the car, and drug himself into his house. He stumbled through the kitchen and living room. He collapsed onto the landing of his basement steps. He was borderline dehydrated, his new cries were just desperate gasps.

"Haven't you already taken enough from me?! Do you really need Tony?! I mean really?! Forget about me! Tali needs him! Think of the children! But you won't and they say that you are a just God. I will believe it when I see it!" Jethro shouted to the heavens.

* * *

 **A/N: The rest of the team finds out in the next chapter. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	4. Breaking The News

The cancer had spread. Tony pretty much knew as much, so did Jimmy and Dr. Pitt. It was unheard of for stage four to be localized. It had moved to his heart, kidneys, liver, and brain. There was a spot on his bladder that raised concern was still small. More than likely by the time it developed Tony would be dead. The news was a devastating blow but Tony was still wanting to put up a fight. He would be admitted to the hospital for immediate and aggressive treatment. Jimmy had gone to collect a few of Tony's things. Tony was sitting in the hospital terrified of breaking the new

Jethro took a long swig off his bottle of bourbon. The bottle was half gone he had just bought it the day before. Tony's grim diagnosis had thrown him through a loop. His goal was to drink himself into a stupor. He wanted no memory of the time he spent at the Palmer's. He wanted to forget hearing Jimmy's voice break and Tali cry. Tony's moans, that was hell. He rose the bottle to his lips and took another long swig. At this point his vision was blurring and he was too dizzy to stand. He had no memory of what he was supposed to be building. He shoved his project off the table and chugged the last of the bottle. The sickness was immediate. His mismatched project and work table the casualties of his episode. He stumbled up the stairs practically dragging himself up with the banister. He could only make it to the landing before getting sick again and collapsing.

Tony looked weakly around his hospital room. This was not how he wanted to break the news. Not that there was any idea way to tell your family you had terminal cancer. He was relieved that it was only McGee, Bishop, and Abby. Gibbs and Jimmy already knew, and Ducky had some big engagement that day. Lucky for Tony, Jimmy had promised to break the news to him.

"I guess in this situation it is best to just rip the band-aid off. The reason I am here. The reason I have been staying with Jimmy and not going out with you guys anymore. I have lung cancer. By the time I got to the doctor. It had progressed to stage four and spread. They are going to give me an aggressive round of chemo and strong radiation. Three week cycle. If I responded at all I get a week break and then another three weeks. From there I really don't know. I am terminal. The treatment is largely to buy time. Unless by some miracle I actually respond." Tony explained.

"Tony no" Bishop gasped.

"My dad's was stage four and it had spread. He got into a trial. He still died and was sick but he got more time. Maybe a trial could help you." McGee rambled.

"Dr. Pitt and my oncologist Dr. Heron are looking into a few but they aren't having much luck at my stage." Tony explained.

"Oh" McGee sighed.

"How could you be so selfish?!" Abby demanded.

"What do you mean?" Tony asked.

"Not getting to the hospital! How could you let yourself get this sick?!" Abby demanded.

"I don't know." Tony admitted.

"Well it was wrong!" Abby snapped.

"Abby, now is not the time." McGee warned.

Tony took one last look at his guests, with utter defeat. He was weak just from that short conversation. He started to lean back but suffered another aggressive coughing fit. Blood poured out of his mouth and on to his arm. Bishop turned a deathly pale and McGee had to race out of the room with his hand over his mouth. Abby shuddered but once the fit subsided, she scoffed and exited with Bishop. Tony collapsed onto the bed and fell into a deep sleep.

Ducky pounded on Jethro's door. He had not heard from his friend all day. They were supposed to meet up at a barbecue being thrown by Ducky's neighbor. While Jethro tended to break his own rule and be unreachable. He never hid away from meat and alcohol. Jethro also never let anybody knock on his door this long. Finally the old doctor had, had enough of courtesy. He swung the door open and began frantically surveying the house. Jethro was not in the living room or the kitchen. He was more likely to be in the basement, so Ducky checked there first. He opened the door and was met by the strong smell of bourbon and vomit. He spotted Jethro curled up on the landing. His initial thought was that his friend had fallen and was unable to move. He raced to his aide and discovered the reality was far more alarming. Jethro reeked of bourbon and vomit was nearly dried to his lips. There was a pulse but it was faint.

"Good Lord, Jethro. I am certain you are suffering alcohol poisoning." Ducky gasped, wondering what could possibly drive his friend to drink so much. It wasn't his and Shannon's anniversary, nor was it any of the Gibbs' birthdays, and it certainly was not _the_ anniversary.

Jimmy sat on Tony's empty bed. He shuddered at what the future would hold. What condition Tony would be in when he returned. More likely than not Tony would return on hospice. If he returned at all. Given his state he could die at any time. Jimmy's heart broke knowing just how sick his friend was. From down the hall he heard Tali and Tori singing and playing. Two innocent children who had no idea of the gravity of the situation. Their innocence only broke Jimmy's heart further. At that age Tali may be hit by her father's death twice.

Tony tossed and turned on the hospital bed. When he woke he would begin the hell that was chemo and radiation. Poisoning his body in a desperate attempt to free himself from the cancer. At least give himself more time. Dr. Heron had just spoken with him and there were no trials open for his cancer. At least not at the level to which his had progressed. He was dying.

* * *

 **A/N: Will Gibbs survive his alcohol poisoning? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	5. Rules

The good news was that Jethro was going to be OK. He had been found in time and received prompt treatment. The doctor remained baffled by what could have caused Jethro to drink the way he had. Yes Jethro enjoyed his bourbon but he never drank himself drunk. Unless something was wrong. Unfortunately no answers would come until Jethro woke and the doctor's could not say exactly that would be.

Jimmy's heart broke as he watched Tony toss and turn. Tony had just been told there were no trials. That was it. There was officially nothing that they could do. Jimmy's heart broke for his friend. It was hard not to break down. Hard not to totally fall apart. He could not even cry at home. Because he did not want to upset Tali. Finally Tony fell asleep and Jimmy could take a breather.

Ducky stumbled out into the waiting room. Jethro was still the same and would likely be the same through the night. He had tried to call Jethro's team, Abby, and Mr. Palmer. None of them were answering. He had left voice mails and texts but nobody would respond. He had to wonder if anybody even cared. He exited the general building and found himself wandering towards Oncology. He had no idea why he was approaching that building. He walked through the sliding doors and walked through the hallways. Elevator door slid open on the floor where patients received inpatient treatment. He walked to the waiting room and what he saw caught his breath. Timothy pale as a ghost sipping from a paper cup of water. Elanor beside him a look of pain on her face. Abigail was sulking in the corner. Mr. Palmer stepped into the waiting room. He opened to his mouth to speak but burst into tears instead.

"What is going on? Why are all of you in Oncology? Jethro is in the main building." Ducky asked.

"Tony has lung cancer." McGee replied choking on the vile words.

"That explains Jethro." Ducky sighed.

"What is going on with Gibbs?" McGee asked.

"He has been admitted for what is thankfully only acute alcohol poisoning. He is in bad shape but he is going to survive." Ducky explained.

"We just found out today and Gibbs wasn't here. How could that be what sent him over the edge?" McGee asked.

"I told him yesterday. He came over." Jimmy replied weakly.

"This is Tony's fault! If he had cared he would not be this sick and neither would Gibbs!" Abby snapped storming away.

Under most circumstances Jimmy Palmer had trouble standing up for himself but he could always stand up for somebody he cared about. He could not let Abby act that way. He could not let her treat Tony the way she was. He could not let her continue to spread her vile.

"Abby!" Jimmy screamed down the hallway.

"What do you want?! I am going to confront Tony." Abby spat.

"Like hell you are!" Jimmy retorted.

"Whatever this is will be moved elsewhere or both of you will be barred from this floor." A nurse warned.

"I am sorry." Jimmy apologized.

"It is OK just don't let it happen again." The nurse warned.

"You heard her." Jimmy hissed.

Figuring the hospital would not appreciate Jimmy stopping the elevator. Jimmy made Abby follow him down to the first floor's supply closet. The main level was mainly open floor and offices. There was a staff area past locked doors and a small lunch bar for families. The supply closet was on the other side from anywhere patients would be.

"What do you want?!" Abby demanded.

"Tony is dying! OK! Do you understand that?! He needs our support. If you cannot give it to him then you are not allowed anywhere near him. I am the one caring for him in the end. I have to deal with all this bullshit. I do not need to have to be refereeing his guests. If you cannot keep it together. Then do not come back here. Do not come to my house. Do not contact me unless it is to apologize. I will not respond. I have enough to deal with. Everybody will get this speech." Jimmy explained.

"He should have gone to the hospital. It is his fault he is sick and it is his fault that Gibbs has alcohol poisoning." Abby retorted.

"Tony is sick because he has damaged lungs. Gibbs has alcohol poisoning. Because he uses alcohol as a coping mechanism." Jimmy scoffed before storming away.

"How dare you!" Abby demanded.

Jimmy left Abby sulking in the supply closet. He had no problem denying her access to Tony until she proved herself apologetic. Now however he was facing the hard part. Having to lay down the law to everybody else. OK this was the medium part. The hard part would be telling Gibbs the rules. Gibbs did not like rules that were not his own. Gibbs especially did not like not getting his way. McGee, Bishop, and Ducky were the reasonable ones of the bunch. He just did not see them taking kindly to being told they may not be allowed to see Tony. He returned to the waiting room where the others remained.

"I have to tell you guys something. You are not going to like it but it has to be said. It is obvious that Tony is very sick. He is dying and needs his final days to be comfortable. For that reason there are going to be a few rules. You have to agree to my rules here and now. If you do not you will be denied access to him until you can agree. Understand?" Jimmy explained.

"Yes" Bishop replied.

"Of course Mr. Palmer." Ducky added.

"Whatever you say goes." McGee finished.

"Here it goes. First of all Abby is not allowed anywhere near Tony until she stops being angry with him and with me. You are welcome to give her updates but she does not get contact. Until I say she gets contact. If I find out that any of you gave her information you will also be denied access to Tony. The same rule goes for anybody I have to deny access to. It sounds harsh but I want Tony to be comfortable.

Also Tony is still lucid. If he does not want visitors that day. He will not have visitors. I will send out text updates every day. When Tony is home Breena and I will not be coming to the door unless it is for Tori. If you have something to drop off. You can leave it in the carport and send a text to me. Tony has already said he does not want visitors on the bad days. Unless it is the end. This is not easy but it is largely what Tony wants and he is the one battling cancer. Do you understand? Do you agree?" Jimmy explained.

"Makes sense" Bishop replied.

"Anything that Anthony needs to be comfortable I adhere to." Ducky assured.

"Not easy but you are right. It is Tony's last days." McGee explained.

"Good" Jimmy replied simply.

* * *

 **A/N: How will Gibbs take the rules? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	6. A Rough Morning

It was a rough morning for Tony. He screamed through his radiation treatment. The nurse said it was normal. Especially for somebody who had to receive full body radiation. He fell asleep during the chemo but woke up afterwords violently ill. Breena was with him and paged for a nurse when he filled his vomit pan and was quickly filling the trashcan. She gave a weak smile when he got sick on her clothes. Reminding him that she had a toddler and was used to it. That may be but it was cute when a baby spit up from an upset tummy. It was nasty when a grown as man threw up the hospital pancakes he had barely been able to choke down that morning. He pretended to be asleep while Breena gave Jimmy an update over the phone.

" _He was pretty sick after. They didn't give him lunch but they have broth for him if he needs something later. They gave him something but he got sick again just before I called you. He's sleeping now and was pretty out of it, or I would put him on. You still think you can come after work? I hate to leave him but I have to pick up the girls at four. Yeah I will call you back if I find out anything else."_

Jimmy was dreading the conversation he was about to have. It had bad enough having the conversation with McGee, Ducky, and Bishop. Heck even confronting Abby was easier. Gibbs had mellowed in recent years but he still scared the shit out of Jimmy. Being told that he may not have access to Tony may be just the thing to send the Marine over the edge. Gibbs was staying for a few more hours for further observation. According to Ducky, he was physically recovered but they were watching his mental state. Deciding whether or not to send him to psych. Probably not the best time but Jimmy was more concerned about Tony than he was about Gibbs.

"Gibbs?" Jimmy called nervously.

"Come in, kid." Gibbs replied.

"I need to talk to you about Tony." Jimmy replied.

"What now" Gibbs sighed.

"When Tony first found out he might be sick. He made some requests about when he was getting treatment." Jimmy explained nervously.

"What?" Gibbs questioned.

"He does not want visitors on the bad days. Breena and I will start a group text for updates every day. One in the morning on good days and as needed on bad. Of course you will be welcome uh when it's you know the end." Jimmy explained.

"Why doesn't he want me there?" Gibbs asked.

"He doesn't want anybody there. Not when he is too weak to get roll over or walk to the bathroom. Not when the hospice nurse has to do everything for him." Jimmy explained.

"Not even me?" Gibbs asked.

"I am sorry." Jimmy apologized.

"I guess if it is what Tony wants. I can't say no." Jethro sighed.

"There's one more thing and this I know you are not going to like but is the rule." Jimmy started.

"What?" Jethro asked.

"Abby upset Tony yesterday. As a result she is not allowed access to Tony. I will not update her. You and the others can but I will not. She will also not be allowed to visit Tony or know if he his at my house or in the hospital. I am sorry but that is how it is going to have to be." Jimmy explained.

"How can you deny Abby? I am sorry she upset Tony but I am sure she meant well." Jethro demanded.

"She did not mean well and they had to sedate Tony. She is not welcome. I am sorry but I have to think in Tony's best interest." Jimmy explained.

"Fine" Gibbs scoffed.

Tony woke up with a start. He felt like he was on fire all over and he felt like his chest was being crushed. Movement was enough to make him sick again. He lunged for his pan but not before getting sick all over himself and the bed. He had the pan in his hands but now he was dizzy and his head was throbbing. He got sick again this time missing the pan, getting sick on the floor. He reached for the call button but missed again, falling over, and hitting his head hard on the side of the bed. He began to shake and foam at the mouth. The last thing he remembered before losing consciousness was the sound of Breena's horrified scream.

Breena was shaking and screaming when the nurse rushed in. She had seen people have seizures before her roommate in college was epileptic and had seizures sometimes on a daily basis. By the end of the four years Breena knew more about the disorder than Shelby's doctor. She had dealt with everything from Shelby wetting her dress just before a date to her cracking her head open on the dresser. She had been calm through everything. She was calm when people had seizures during funerals or while planning a service. Apparently stress was a pretty major trigger. She was even calm when a boy in Tori's daycare had an unexplained seizure. What she could not handle was seeing her husband's best friend. The father of her daughter's best friend have a seizure. She could not handle it when the heart monitor let out the horrid shriek of a flat line and doctors rushed into the room with a crash cart. She was on the floor when the doctors ripped open Tony's gown and slammed the paddles into his chest. Having to turn up the strength twice before they finally got him back.

"Mr. DiNozzo? Are you with us? Mr. DiNozzo?" Nurse Katie called.

"Sh Nubmhahhhh" Tony slurred, before falling into another seizure.

Tony's next seizure lasted a full thirty minutes. They had to administer rescue meds to bring him around. The good news was that he did not crash again coming out of the seizure. The bad was that he could not move or speak. All Breena could do was watch in horror as Tony was rushed back for a brain scan. Jimmy came into the room just as Tony was shoved through the double doors.

"What happened?" Jimmy asked nervously.

"Tony had a two seizures. One after the other. He crashed after the first and was unresponsive after the second. They are taking him back for a scan." Breena explained.

"No" Jimmy squeaked before bursting into tears.

* * *

 **A/N: What was the cause of Tony's seizure? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	7. Reaction

The only sounds in the room were Jimmy's violent sobs. He had buried his head in Breena's shoulder and soaked her shirt with his tears. Breena stood expressionless and watched in a daze as life went on outside of Tony's room. Tony could be dying right now and they could not be with him. Nobody could be with him. Nobody even had a chance to say goodbye.

The wait seemed to be endless. Jimmy continued to cry and Breena continued to be blank. Trying and seemingly failing to be positive for her husband and his friend. Through his sobs Jimmy would say that "I can't lose him." Trying to block out what was happening. All Breena could think was how grateful she was that Ziva was not around for any of this. She missed her friend dearly but this would absolutely destroy her.

"Jimmy, Breena?" Dr. Heron called.

"How is he?" Jimmy asked.

"Please come with me." Dr. Heron replied.

Jimmy and Breena followed Dr. Heron down the hall to his office. The same office where Jimmy and a barely conscious Tony had learned the cancer had spread. Those four walls signified extreme heart break for Jimmy. Who had worked to block out Tony sobbing hysterically as they processed the bleak news. Now here he was back just a few days later. About to receive what was bound to be even more devastating news. Maybe even "the most devastating news."

"How is he?" Jimmy asked again.

"Mr. DiNozzo has been stabilized and transferred to room in Intensive Care. He is still unconscious but is now responding to stimuli. From here it is a waiting game but we are expecting him to have suffered permanent brain damage." Dr. Heron explained.

"What caused the seizures? What caused him to code and be unresponsive?" Jimmy questioned.

"I am afraid that Mr. DiNozzo has suffered a severe reaction to the chemo. We must stop chemo immediately. Provided he continues to recover he will receive only radiation for the remainder of his stay." Dr. Heron explained.

"Can't they find another chemo?" Jimmy asked.

"If he had better odds. I would give his body time to recover and then start him on a different chemo. Unfortunately Mr. DiNozzo's body is simply too fragile for trial and error." Dr. Heron explained.

"What if he does not recover enough to receive radiation?" Jimmy asked.

"If he does not improve within the next twenty four hours. He will be moved to The third floor to corridor C." Dr. Heron replied.

Third floor, corridor C, sent chills down Jimmy's spine. That was where cancer patients were placed when the time came for them to die. When they were unable or not wanting to return home to die. Just the idea of Tony being moved to that door was enough to devastate Jimmy.

"Tony is strong. He has defied the odds before." Breena offered.

"He's never been this sick. Not even when he had the plague." Jimmy sobbed.

Dr. Pitt watched with a heavy heart as nurses bathed and changed Tony. Just two hours ago he had been so hopeful. He had finally found a clinical trial that might work for Tony. He had spoken with the doctor and was beginning to make plans for Tony to be flown to Minnesota where the trial was taking place. Then the seizures happened. Brad had called the doctors back and explained the situation. Tony was no longer eligible for the trial. He was simply too critical for the trial to be justifiable. Too much brain damage, too weak, too much risk, not enough hope for recovery. All hope was gone. Complete radiation and run new scans. More likely than not send home to die under hospice care.

"I'm sorry Brad. I know he was your friend." Dr. Bryant apologized.

"In med school they told us to detach. To have a rapport with patients but to avoid a strong friendship. Until today I never understood why." Dr. Pitt sighed.

"We all have to learn eventually." Dr. Bryant recalled.

It was the middle of the night. Utterly exhausted Breena had returned home from the hospital. Jimmy was staying for the night. Breena would return in the morning. Earlier that night she had tucked Tali and Tori into bed. Tali was technically Jewish and Tony was not religious, but Tori insisted that Tali join their prayers. Breena's heart broke when Tori whispered for Tali to pray for her Abba. Breena cried but the girls fell asleep. She would give anything to be that innocent again. Unfortunately innocence did not last long. Even for somebody as young and innocent as sweet Tali. Two thirty in the morning and Breena heard cries coming from the girls' room. Before she could get up she heard tiny feet racing down the hall and screaming "Abba". She found Tali when the girl collapsed in the living room sobbing and screaming.

"ABBA!" Tali screamed.

"Tali, Tali you are dreaming. Aunt Breena is right here." Breena called.

"Abba's gone." Tali sniffed.

"He's not gone. He is just at the hospital. He was really sick today or we would have brought you to see him. Maybe tomorrow." Breena explained.

"Him and Ima were together. She was trying to make him come back but he did not want to. He does not love me." Tali explained.

"He loves you but your Abba is very, very sick and he misses your Ima very much. He may be ready to go back to her but he is still here or Uncle Jimmy would have called me." Breena assured.

"Abba. Want Abba" Tali cried.

"You will see him soon. I promise." Breena promised.

Tony could see her. He reached out and he could touch her. He stroked her hair and fiddled with her Star of David. She reached up and pushed his hand away. She looked so young and amazing. She looked like she did when they first met. Completely different from the charred shell he had seen months earlier in Israel.

"I am sorry Tony but you cannot come now." Ziva apologized.

"What do you mean? Why am I here?" Tony questioned.

"You are having another episode but it is not the time." Ziva explained.

"But I hurt so much and I miss you. I can't use my legs or control... anything." Tony reminded.

"I know but she needs time to say goodbye. Well everybody does but especially Tali and Gibbs." Ziva explained, pointing to Tali who was sitting on the other side of the shore.

"She won't want to see me like this. I will scare her or embarrass her." Tony insisted.

"She won't be embarrassed, and Jimmy and Breena are preparing her for how you will be. When she can see you again. She will be OK. A lot better than if she never got to say goodbye." Ziva explained.

"But I can come back soon?" Tony asked.

"Soon enough" Ziva assured.

* * *

 **A/N: Will Tony listen to Ziva? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	8. Breaking Down

Tony crashed again during the night. He actually appeared to be doing better after they got him back, but Jimmy was not relaxing any. No matter what happened today, Tony was dying. That was known since the diagnosis came in. Jimmy was hoping and praying that Tony would keep fighting and stay around a little longer. Realistically he was sure that Tony would die. That this rally was the last good time before the end.

Tony improved but he was still suffering. He woke in a great deal of pain. It broke Jimmy's heart to see his friend screaming and crying. They gave him morphine but that only put him to sleep. It seemed cruel but Jimmy wished that Tony would die. It was killing him to see his friend suffering. Tony DiNozzo was the strongest man Jimmy knew. He never let anything get to him. Even when he was recovering from the plague. He still was worrying over Kate and Gibbs. He came back less than a month later. Now with the cancer all he could do was lie in bed and scream from the pain. What was worse was knowing that Tony would not get better. He would get worse and then he would die or he would just die.

"They are moving you out of the ICU tomorrow morning. You can start radiation up again in the morning and then they will move you back to the regular cancer floor. Once you are set up I am going to bring Tali by. I know you don't want her to see you like this but she misses you. Breena told me that she cried all night. She needs you Tony." Jimmy explained.

"Don't want her to remember me as weak." Tony rasped.

"She will not remember you as weak. Tony you are so strong right now. Dr. Heron said a weaker person would be dead. After the seizures and allergic reaction. When she learns what cancer can do to a person. She will remember you as strong." Jimmy assured.

"She deserves better." Tony rasped.

"Nobody is better than you." Jimmy insisted.

Breena hung her head over the counter, her hair covered her drooping eyes. She had not slept for a second the night before. She spent the night tossing and turning with worry over Tony. Until Tali woke in the middle of the night. She spent the rest of the night holding one screaming toddler. While her own child whined about not being able to sleep and pleaded for extra attention. By morning Breena was in a haze. Tali was unusually quiet. Just picking at the oatmeal Breena had somehow managed to prepare. Tori on the other hand was shrieking and had already thrown her oatmeal and the cereal Breena poured to replace it. The cereal flew past Breena's head.

"MOMMY! CEREAL SPILLED!" Tori screamed.

"You threw it." Breena corrected.

"Tali threw it." Tori insisted.

"Sorry" Tali apologized.

"Victoria Elizabeth Palmer I saw you throw it. Apologize to Tali and then help me clean up." Breena insisted.

"Mommy doesn't love me anymore!" Tori screamed.

"Tori I love you but you cannot act like this. I know this is confusing. I know. Just go sit quietly. I'll clean this up. Tali you can go play." Breena rambled.

"NO FAIR!" Tori snapped storming out of the kitchen.

Tony couldn't move his legs, he could barely move his arms, and he could see only shadows. The short conversation he'd had with Jimmy had worn him out. He could speak when they were able to remove the vent but his speech was slurred and weak. When he fell asleep they had to reintubate him. He had another seizure around noon. It was small but terrifying. The doctors were not very optimistic. Nobody wanted Tony to continue radiation. Well one person did. Tony. His request nothing that they do all they could to save his life. It killed Jimmy to see his friend that way. If he had not promised Tony that he would stay by his side. That he would get Tali through this ordeal. Jimmy would disappear and stay away until this was all over. Until after Tony had died and Tali was recovered. Too bad that was not an option for him.

Breena let the bedroom door shut behind her. Tali had crashed on the couch a few minutes earlier. Tori continued to run around the house having her tantrum. Jimmy had just called to say Tony had two more seizures. Tali overheard her and Breena had to explain seizures and what the horrible disease was doing to her Abba. Tori picked that moment to jump on Tali and declare that she hated her. Jimmy was crying on the phone. She hadn't slept the night before but neither had Jimmy. Tony only slept because of the drugs and him being too physically weak to do much else. She heard Tali crying in the living room and Tori taunting her. Her life was hell. She could not take much more. She had been strong for so long. She just could not anymore. She fell to the floor sobbing uncontrollably. She wished that it was her dying rather than Tony.

Tony was awake again. He was still on the vent. The doctors did not think he would come off this time. There was a good chance that Jimmy would never hear his friend's voice again. The last thing Tony had said to him before falling into a drug induced sleep was a desperate plea for help. All Jimmy could do was assure that the drugs would be working soon. That Tony would soon be free. He tried calling Breena again but she did not answer. When she called back he voice was breaking and he knew that she had been crying. He could hear Tali crying in the background and Tori screaming. According to Breena that was how her day had gone. He wished that he could be home with her but somebody had to be with Tony. He wished he could trade with her but he saw how being at the hospital had hurt her. At this point he did not know which was worse. Home with one toddler on a jealous rampage and the other broken by grief, or at the hospital watching his best friend slowly die from lung cancer.

* * *

 **A/N: Jimmy and Breena really need to ask for help. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	9. Heartache all around

Things just kept getting worse. Tony continued to have seizures throughout the day and early evening. Thankfully only one was serious. Jimmy first noticed the red spot on Tony's arm around dinner time. He tried not to think much of it. Telling himself that it was just a simple irritation. Still he called for a nurse. More bad news Tony had a rash. They gave him a shot of cortisone. By the end of visiting hours. The rash had spread covering most of his body. As Jimmy was leaving he heard bits and pieces of the doctor's conversation. Whatever was going on. It wasn't good.

Back at the Palmer's house things were not going much better. Breena was going on forty eight hours without sleep. Tori was furious and claimed to hate Tali. Tali was crying all the time and having meltdowns screaming for Tony. Breena had no idea what to do for either girl. It's not like she wanted to ignore Tori. She desperately wanted to curl up on the couch and watch "Daniel Tiger" with Tori. She wanted Jimmy to come home and surprise her with dinner from her favorite place. Instead she was desperately trying to calm the fears of a heartbroken child. Tony was not doing well and Jimmy was not wanting to leave the hospital.

By morning the rash was covering eighty percent of Tony's body. The source could not be found and the cortisone was not touching it. To make things worse Tony had been running a low grade fever for ten hours. Upon arriving back into the ICU, Jimmy was informed that Tony was not being transferred back to the regular oncology floor. Dr. Pitt and Dr. Heron would present Tony's case to the board for review. They were wanting to determine if Tony was in fact a candidate for radiation. Jimmy pretty much knew Tony was not a candidate for treatment. His condition was simply too grave. Another heartbreaking blow.

Dr. Brad Pitt wiped the sweat and tears from his eyes. His body was shaking as he studied the table where the director's were lined up. The last time he was this nervous was a Morbidity and Mortality conference probably twenty years ago now. Stupid mistake on his part a young doctor who thought he knew it all. Went behind the attendant's back and a young mother payed the ultimate price. The only reason he had his license was because autopsy discovered the woman had a large tumor in her liver that had ruptured. Brad got lucky and knew that was once in a career luck. No more thinking he was the best doctor in the world. He was very careful and had never endured another M and M conference. He had been before director's a few times before. Though nothing like this. Never pleading for his friend's life.

"Anthony DiNozzo is forty eight years old. His cancer aggressive and fast moving. The result of previous damage to his lungs. By the point of diagnosis cancer had spread to his brain, heart, liver, kidneys, and bladder. He was initially admitted for intensive chemo and radiation therapy in hopes of extending his life. He however suffered a severe reaction to the chemo. At which point he was transferred to the ICU and given a chance for radiation. Over the past forty eight hours his condition continued to deteriorate after a brief period of improvement. Is that correct?" Dr. Higgins asked.

"Yes mam" Dr. Pitt replied.

"Correct" Dr. Heron added.

"Knowing this information do you believe that it would be wise to continue treatment for Mr. DiNozzo?" Dr. Higgins replied.

"No given Mr. DiNozzo's condition and terminal status. I feel it would be wise to stop treatment and just let him die peacefully." Dr. Heron explained.

"I disagree. I think we need to do everything possible to save Mr. DiNozzo's life." Dr. Pitt countered.

"Give your reasons." Dr. Higgins prompted.

"He's a good man and his little girl needs him." Dr. Pitt replied nervously.

"Do you have more reasons than Mr. DiNozzo is a good man and has a daughter? A medical reason. Any indication of hope or progress?" Dr. Higgins questioned.

"I cannot" Dr. Pitt admitted nervously.

"Since neither of Mr. DiNozzo's physicians can present good enough reasons to continue treatment. All treatments will be stopped and Mr. DiNozzo will be transferred to the hospice floor." Dr. Higgins declared.

Jimmy knew by the grief filled look on Dr. Pitt's face. Jimmy knew that he was about to receive devastating news. He pretty much knew what the news would be. Still he prayed that he was wrong or that some mistake had been made. Even that this was all a terrible nightmare and he would meet healthy Tony at the park.

"I met with the board of director's." Dr. Pitt announced.

"And?" Jimmy asked.

"We have opted to stop treatment and move Tony to the hospice floor. Given Mr. DiNozzo's condition I believe that it would be wise to contact the others. Get Tali here immediately and say your goodbyes. Even with radiation he does not have long." Dr. Pitt explained.

"Is that really all that can be done?" Jimmy asked.

"Radiation would just be burning a man who is already on the highest dose of pain killers you can receive." Dr. Pitt sighed.

Jimmy felt like he had been sucker punched in the gut. This was not the news he wanted to receive. Though it was the news that he was expecting. He saw how fast Tony went down hill and how fragile Tony was now. Still that did not make the news any easier. How do you say goodbye to a man like Anthony DiNozzo? How do you watch a three year old tell her father goodbye for the last time. How do you survive any of this pain? How do you move forward?

Breena was balled up on the couch. The last time she was this exhausted was after her final exams Junior year. She stayed awake most of a week cramming for her exams. Then like so many of her friends went to an all night party. In those days she was dumb enough to try and drive home. She made it just off of campus before being busted by a cop. Given she was a young woman leaving a college campus and incoherent. The cop assumed she had been given the date rape drug. She woke up in the hospital. Where she was grilled by a social worker. After that she had to receive counseling and vowed never to stay up that long again. She never did. Until this week. Now here she was nearly ten years older a mother and there would be no party. Unless you counted the wake.

* * *

 **A/N: A lot of heartache going around. New chapter will be up soon thanks for reading and please review.**


	10. Near The End

Jethro tapped his foot against the basement floor. He hadn't moved in he didn't know how long. His hand landed in something wet. The coffee he had spilled earlier. Probably the spill was his last move but he wasn't sure. Truth be told he could not tell you what he had eaten for breakfast that morning. He had no real memory of anything. He hadn't since he found out his son was dying. The only indication of his hospital stay for alcohol poisoning was the soggy band still attached to his wrist. Ducky was moving around upstairs. The landline rang. God even he wasn't sure why he had that thing anymore. Ever since Jack died it was just telemarketers and political calls. He heard Ducky's muffled voice then rushing. Feet pounding against the basement steps.

"Jethro! We must get to Bethesda! Immediately!" Ducky cried.

"Why? They said not to come." Jethro recalled.

"Anthony's condition has continued to deteriorate. The hospital and Mr. Palmer have opted to cease medical intervention." Ducky explained.

"Isn't that Tony's choice?" Jethro questioned.

"Anthony has not been lucid in nearly twenty-four hours. He has only been awake for three minutes in that entire time." Ducky explained.

"They said he had three to six months!" Jethro snapped.

"His condition took a sudden downturn. Nobody not even the hospital could have seen it coming." Ducky explained.

"They said he had more time! I stayed away because they said he had more time!" Jethro railed.

"Jethro" Ducky called.

"NO! Leave me alone!" Jethro spat, shoving his friend to the ground.

The bullpen was awful lonely that afternoon. Tony had been gone for a year and a half now but McGee never really thought about it. Even though he had left NCIS, left the country. Tony would call or text periodically. Tony didn't get in touch much over the first couple months. Tony was still mourning and McGee was still shell shocked. Eventually Tony contacted them. Tony wanted to be at the wedding but Delilah's pregnancy had moved things up. Of course Tali was sick the weekend that was supposed to be their wedding, Tony couldn't have come anyway. Tony, God McGee was missing his friend. The phone rang. MCRT was not taking cases until they could either get Gibbs back or get another agent on the team.

"Hello?"

"McGee, it's Jimmy. You need to get to Bethesda."

"I thought Tony was not taking visitors."

"He has taken a turn. He is dying."

"I know he is dying."

"No McGee, he is actively dying."

"Shit"

It was just Bishop and McGee in the bullpen. McGee had barely spoken the past few days. He just kept looking over at Tony's desk. They had offered McGee the desk but he never moved. He never could. He certainly could not move now. He remained where he was, as the team worked as a trio. Other agents coming from time to time but mostly just the trio. Bishop's head shot up when the phone rang. The duo was just doing paperwork until something gave. Everybody knew that. Bishop watched as her partner answered the phone. She noticed his face pale and made out the words dying. She was across the bullpen before the older agent hung up.

"What's going on?"

"We... we need to get to Bethesda. Tony took a rapid downturn. He is dying."

"What do you mean?"

"They are ceasing medical intervention. They are keeping him on oxygen and comfortable. He will be gone soon."

Ducky was destroyed by the news. His heart broke knowing that Anthony would be leaving the world very soon. Knowing that his body was giving out. Anthony being terminal had been known for several days now, but as Jethro had said. Anthony was supposed to have more time. They were supposed to have time for last goodbyes and good days to make memories but according to Mr. Palmer. There had been no good days. Anthony never recovered from the biopsy operation. Never recovered, never bounced back, only grew sicker and sicker. The one thing worse than knowing Anthony was dying. Was the heartbreak on Jethro's face.

Leon Vance focused his eyes on the empty bullpen. Normally he did not let his agents just race out the way Agent Bishop and Agent McGee had, but he had received the call first. He had first heard the pain in Dr. Palmer's voice. He had first been hit by the horrid words. Vance barely even knew the details of Tony's illness. Now he was preparing to hear that the former agent had passed. On technicality a casualty of the profession. Highly doubtful that Anthony would have developed that cancer if he had never contracted the plague. His heart grew heavy as he grabbed his things and headed for the hospital.

Breena had to go on automatic just to get out the door. Things had finally settled down for a second when the phone rang. She was watching TV with the girls Tori had calmed and Tali was actually not crying. She thought that she might actually get some sleep that night. Then the phone rang and it was Jimmy. Tony was dying. She needed to rush Tali to the hospital to say her final goodbyes to her Aba. She had to do all of this and get Tori somewhere. Jimmy's family was at the hospital with Tony and Ed was in the middle of a funeral. Breena got both girls out of the house and somehow made the drive to the hospital. Upon arrival, Jimmy collapsed into her arms.

"He can't die. He just can't." Jimmy sobbed.

Tony did not move, he could not move. He was in too much pain to even roll himself over. Jimmy and Dr. Pitt had come in the last time he was awake. They had broken the news. He did not have much time. His time was no longer measured in days, weeks, or months. Rather measured by minutes, hours, and if he was lucky days. Lucky maybe that was not the best word. He did not want to leave Tali but he would do her no good in this condition and he would only get worse from here.

* * *

 **A/N: The goodbyes are said in the next chapter. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	11. No Good in Goodbye

Slowly Tony's family and friends began to arrive. Jimmy had signed the DNR and all they could do was pray that Tony hung on long enough for everybody to say goodbye. The waiting room was full of Tony's loved ones. Most were crying, others were just trying to remain stoic.

Jimmy made sure that Tali was the first to go back. Her visit to Tony was the most important. He was her Aba. His death would shatter her the most. Seeing Tony so pale and surrounded by machines frightened the small girl but Jimmy held her close and assured her until she relaxed. He then carefully placed her on the bed. Tali crawled over and hugged Tony. He was falling deeper into the coma and barely reacted even though he had been in a great deal of pain just an hour before.

"I love you, Abba." Tali sniffed.

Tony opened his eyes and looked around. He knew that this would be the last time that he saw his baby girl. He was very weak but he still managed to reach up and take her hands. He wondered if she would even remember him. Tali was a pretty smart girl but she was also only three. He did not have much strength but he held Tali's hand as long as he could before his strength gave out. The last thing he saw before he closed his eyes was Jimmy carrying Tali away.

Gibbs was the next to see Tony. It killed him to see his boy in such a poor state. Rage surged through his body. It was clear that the goodbye would be one sided. He was pretty pissed to think that Jimmy had kept Tony from him. Then again shouldn't he have noticed something was wrong sooner. He should have at least kept better tabs on Tony's health. Then maybe they would have had more time with Tony. Maybe Tali would have a better chance of remembering her Aba.

"God Tony, I am going to miss you so much. You were like a son to me. I should have been better. I should have cared more. I am sorry, goodbye." Gibbs apologized.

Bishop went next to see Tony. McGee was still composing himself. She had not known Tony very long. Truth be told she did not try to get to know him. He had been friend's with her ex, he reminded her a lot of her ex. Though Tony was a better man. He was actually more mature and far kinder. Now that he would not be around much longer. She wished that she had gotten to know him better. She wished that she would have better stories to tell Tali. She wished she had taken the time to be his friend. Even if they never got as close as he had been with Kate or Ziva.

"Goodbye Tony. I wish I had known you better, longer. You were a great man. Goodbye." Bishop spoke.

McGee finally built up the courage to go into Tony's room. His dying friend and brother's hospital room was the last place in the world he wanted to be. He wanted to run away but knew this was his last chance. After today he would never see his friend alive again. After today he would only see Tony on a slab and then in a box. Then never again. He hated knowing that far too soon he would never see his friend again. He wished that he could stop time and get one more day with Tony. Turn back time and get one more good day. He hated that everything had come tumbling down in such a horrible way. He hated that cancer had taken his friend. Just when Tony was back and they could finally be friends again. They were supposed to be fathers together. Now Tony was seconds away from gone and McGee would never get the chance to ask Tony's advice. He had known about the baby when Tony came back. He should have asked. He should have done a lot of things differently.

"Goodbye Tony, I am going to miss you. I wish we could have been dad friends together. Actually I just wish we'd had more time. I wish I could have changed things. I don't know. I just know that I am going to miss you. So much. I am going to miss you so much." McGee sobbed.

Breena took the next turn to see Tony. She had gotten to know the man very well the past few years. She knew he was a great friend to Jimmy and an even better father to Tali. She knew that Tony had always known that he would die young. She just wished that his premonition had been wrong. Because she was not ready to say goodbye. Nobody was but it would be far worse for Jimmy and unspeakably horrible for Tali.

"Goodbye Tony, you were a good man. You were a great friend to Jimmy and an amazing father. You can rest now. Tali is safe. Goodbye." Breena said.

Ducky had been the shoulder to cry on. He did not see Tony until after Jimmy. Death was his career but that did not make this death any easier. There was no justice in knowing that Tony would be leaving them far too soon. That so many hearts were about to be shattered.

"Goodbye Anthony, I am going to miss you so much. You were a wonderful man. I will never forget you. As if anybody ever could forget a man like you. Goodbye Anthony. Goodbye." Ducky spoke.

Jimmy was the last to see Tony. A moment that he had dreaded. His heart sank to the floor when he realized there was nobody left to say goodbye. That only left him. This was the last place he wanted to be. He wished that he could save Tony's life. He wished that his heart was not so broken. His heart was heavy but there was one bright spot to all of this. Very soon Tony would be reunited with Ziva.

"Goodbye Tony, I will never forget you. I wish this was not happening but it is. I wish we could have saved you. Everybody has said goodbye. You can go now. Go and be with Ziva." Jimmy said, tears pouring from his eyes.

Tony died peacefully in his sleep around ten o'clock that evening. He died alone. Not because of cold hearts but because that just happened to be when his gave out. His family came and went throughout the evening. Jimmy and Breena were among the last to leave. Eventually Breena had to get home to the girls. Jimmy never left the hospital. He just went to get some sleep. He had been gone less than ten minutes when Tony died. That was how Tony wanted it. He did not want a bunch of people around. He did not want the tears as he died. He just wanted to die in peace.

* * *

 **A/N: At least Tony let everybody say goodbye. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	12. He's Really Gone

When Jimmy first heard the news he was devastated, but slowly a peace came over him. Tony had suffered so much in those final days. The peace was there but Jimmy was glad there was still time before he had to break the news. Tony's nurse suggested that Jimmy call Tony's friends back and allow them time with the body, but Jimmy told her no. Jimmy even turned down the offer to spend a short time with Tony's body. Tony had made it clear that he did not want people to see his body. No visitation with the body before being brought down to the morgue, no visits at the funeral home, closed casket, Jimmy knew what Tony wanted to wear and had already prepared to deliver it to the funeral home. He wanted desperately to see Tony one last time but knew to respect his friend's wishes. He just hoped the others would be as understanding.

Tony's body was taken first thing in the morning. They knew the cause of death, there was no mystery. No need for an autopsy. Dr. Heron felt the cancer had spread just in those final days but there was no need to know. Knowing wouldn't bring Tony back. Knowing would just add insult to injury.

With Tony's body cleared away there was only one thing left to do, break the bad news to the others. Jimmy had called Breena as soon as Dr. Clarke (the doctor on call that night) confirmed that Tony was gone. Breena knew but only her. They knew Tali needed to know before anybody else. They would tell her before they even called the others. Telling Tali would be by far the hardest part of all this. She had been with her Aba most of the night. She slept curled up close to him and even fell asleep on his bed before Breena decided it was time to take her home. In her innocent mind being allowed to the hospital meant that Tony was getting better. Now the Palmer's had to break the devastating news to the sweet child. Knowing this had kept both Palmer's awake the rest of the night. Knowing they had to tell Tali was harder than even knowing that Tony was gone.

Jimmy returned from the hospital once the business was done. His heart was heavy and his mind tired. Breena was sitting on the couch with just Tali, Ed had offered to take Tori for the day. Seeing Tali made Jimmy want to run but he knew she would have to find out eventually. Better for her to find out now from him than later from somebody who may not be kind.

"Tali" Jimmy called.

"Jimmy!" Tali cried.

"Tali there is something I need to tell you about your Aba." Jimmy said, kneeling to get down to her level.

"Is he coming home?" Tali asked.

"No Tali, your Aba is gone. Tali he died." Jimmy explained.

"Like Ima?" Tali questioned, far too understanding for a girl her age.

"Yes" Jimmy replied.

"No! No! Nooooo!" Tali screamed throwing herself down to the floor and sobbing.

"Tali" Breena called.

"Go away! I hate you!" Tali snapped.

There was no use trying to reason. Tali would be devastated as long as she was. Still it broke Jimmy's heart to watch the girl throw herself down on the floor and scream for her Aba. Breena was exhausted from handling all that she had and had fallen asleep on the couch. Jimmy just made sure Tali did not injure herself and that he was close by in case she needed him. He wanted to be anywhere else than where he was.

What came next was both easier than telling Tali and harder than telling her at the same time. It was now time for Jimmy to break the news to the team. There worlds wouldn't come crashing down like Tali's had. They had not been suddenly left orphaned and alone. Gibbs would have lost a second child. Jimmy could not imagine that pain but Gibbs had arms to lean on. Tali was in a strange land with strange people. What would be harder about breaking the news was the fact that the others were unpredictable. They may cry, they may be furious, they may be furious at Jimmy. Jimmy was not sure what would come from it. He could just pray for the best outcome possible.

"I have some news." Jimmy announced as Gibbs, McGee, Bishop, and Ducky took seats on the couch.

"What's up?" Bishop asked.

"This isn't going to be easy to say but I already told Tali. It is that much easier to tell you I guess. Guys, Tony died last night." Jimmy explained.

"The body?" Ducky asked.

"It's at Slater's. They came first thing in the morning." Jimmy replied.

"No autopsy?" Bishop asked.

"No need they knew about Tony's cancer. No mysteries to solve, no need to dismember the body." Jimmy explained.

"Are they sure it was the cancer? Maybe the hospital made a mistake." Jethro questioned.

"He had cancer throughout his body. It was aggressive and fast moving." Jimmy replied.

"Maybe you don't want answers but I do!" Jethro snapped before storming from the room.

"I'll go after him." Ducky sighed.

"I...I should go too. Breena is sleeping. I have places to be." Bishop stammered.

"It's true isn't it?" McGee asked shakily after the others had departed.

"It was peaceful. For how sick he was the past few weeks he did not suffer as much as he could have. He is at peace now." Jimmy explained.

"Could I head over to Slater's? Say one last goodbye?" McGee asked.

"Tony did not want anybody besides the staff of the funeral home to see the body. Breena gave the suit to Ed last night. The service will be closed casket. I am sorry but it is his wishes." Jimmy explained.

"I understand. I need to get home anyway. Delilah isn't feeling well." McGee replied.

"Is she OK? I know she's had a few complications." Jimmy asked.

"She is fine. Her dad is in town. He came over to her mom's last night. No matter how old you are when your parents divorce. When they have an ugly fight. It hurts the heart." McGee explained.

"I understand" Jimmy replied.

* * *

 **A/N: Will Gibbs come around? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	13. Family

Tony had made sure that everything was iron clad and ready to go. All the Palmer's had to do was appear before a judge and Tali would be their daughter. The Palmer's wanted to grow their family but not like this. They never could imagine gaining a daughter through the tragic death of their dear friend. They were glad to be able to raise Tali but they had prayed they would not have to. Tali was struggling severely with the loss of her father. Jimmy and Breena were completely helpless.

"Come on sweet Tali. Please eat your dinner. It's Pepperoni Pizza, your favorite." Jimmy begged.

"No" Tali groaned.

"She wouldn't eat last night either or this morning." Breena commented.

"Should we take her to the hospital? Has she been drinking at all?" Jimmy asked.

"She'll take water when she is desperate." Breena replied.

"Does Dr. Jenkins still take calls at home?" Jimmy asked.

"She only turns her work phone off after nine and if she is on vacation." Breena recalled.

"Give her a call. Ask her what we should do." Jimmy replied.

Only twenty hours had passed. That was the thing that blew Jimmy's mind. Less than one day and yet it felt like a lifetime. Forever should have passed in the time since he departed the hospital. Since he delivered the devastating news to Tali and then to his friends. Tali had not eaten in two days. Dr. Jenkins said to supplement with pedialyte and take her to the hospital if she did not take the pedialyte or continued to not eat into the next day. Breena and Tori made an emergency run to Walmart. While Jimmy stayed home with Tali. How long had she been crying now?

Jethro Gibbs found himself back down in the basement. The minutes had turned into hours. He had last count on how long he had cried. His heart was shattered. He had lost his son. He would never see Tony again. He would never hear his voice or his laugh again. He would never even get to look at Tony again. Tony wanted it that way but that did not make it any easier. Tony went from the hospital to the funeral home. His next stop would be the ground and that would be it. Just another lost friend. Anther plot of land on which to lay flowers on birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries. Shannon and Kelly were buried nearly an hour away on the other side of DC. Jethro had made that choice himself. His parents were in Stillwater. Kate was in Indiana. Jethro had only bee there twice. Mike was buried at Arlington. Jenny was cremated and Jethro had long since forgotten where her ashes were spread. Paci and the others Jethro had no idea. Now Tony would be a part of that group. Jethro would never forget where Tony was buried. Assuming he ever had the strength to visit his son's grave.

Ducky watched Jethro from the top of the staircase. He ached for his friend. Anthony was such a special soul. He had left far too soon. Jethro was taking the loss extremely hard. Mr. Palmer was hurting as well but at least Jimmy had Breena. As devastating as this loss was for Jethro, Mr. Palmer, and for everybody. Ducky felt especially horrible for Tali. She was just a baby and she was already orphaned. Ducky had been pretty busy with Jethro. He hadn't had much time to speak with Mr. Palmer or Breena. In the short conversation they'd had. Jimmy had said that Tali was taking the loss hard. Everybody was at a loss as to how to help her.

Bishop's boyfriend was staying at his place that night. He had an early meeting and her place was half an hour out of his way. Normally she did not mind spending nights alone. In fact as her and Ashton's relationship grew more serious. She had come to adore the nights she got alone. Except for this night. This night she wished somebody was around to hold her. She could not believe that her friend was gone.

McGee had been in such a state when he returned home. He was sobbing hysterically and could not form the words to tell Delilah what had happened. He was home and sobbing for two whole hours before he could tell her what had happened. He had only been able to tell her about Tony's cancer when rushing out to the hospital the day before. Delilah was doing her best to make him feel better but she was at a loss. What did you say to somebody who had just lost their best friend?

Tali's little heart was racing. She was lying in bed between Jimmy and Breena. Tori was lying on the other side and would kick or hit her if she got too close to either of her parents. Tali was alone and afraid. Both of her parents were dead and Tori hated her. Tori had always been her friend. Until her Aba got sick and she came to stay with the Palmer's. Now Tori did not like her. Jimmy was gone all the time and Breena was always trying to deal with Tori. Tali did not think that the Palmer's liked her. They were only raising her because they had to.

"Aba come back. Please they hate me." Tali begged, through her tears.

Breena could not sleep. Her stomach had been bothering her all day. For the past week actually. She had come close to going to the hospital but when did she have time? The past weeks had been spent helping Jimmy tend to Tony and basically raising Tali. All while dealing with Tori. Mostly on her own because Jimmy had been spending all his time dealing with Tony. Now Tony was gone and the funeral arrangements had been made but Jimmy had just kind of fallen out. She came home from the store to find him sobbing uncontrollably on the floor. Jimmy was crying in his sleep and Tali was awake crying. Tori was furious. Breena felt sick. She bolted up and ran to the bathroom. She barely made it and once in there she could not stop getting sick. Now her heart was racing. What if she was sick? Like bad sick? Jimmy did not need to lose anybody else and Tali certainly did not. Tori she prayed that girl was at least a couple years older before the first big loss. She also prayed that loss was an older person at the end of their life. Breena got sick again. She prayed she was not about to leave Jimmy widowed and two innocent girls motherless.

* * *

 **A/N: What is going on with Breena? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	14. Funeral Part One

Having been a cop his entire adult life, Tony knew his life could be over in an instant. For that reason he had his funeral all planned out and he updated his will on a regular basis. It was painful when Jimmy was forced to help his friend arrange his death but a blessing when Tony actually did die young. Jimmy was such a mess dealing with the loss and the ensuing drama. It was a relief just to hand Tony's wishes over to Ed and know everything would be dealt with. All Jimmy had to do was update Tony's obituary, send it to the paper, and set a date for the service.

Tony's funeral came three days after his death. Those three days were such a blur of pain and grief. That Jimmy did not even remember until Ed called to see where they were. Jimmy had to arrive three hours early to get things set up. He made a collage of photos and helped get the flowers arranged. He helped place the food for the reception under heat lamps and in a cooler. For a brief moment it was almost like he was decorating for a party. Until he saw the casket in the front of the viewing room. He retched at the sight. He dealt with death every day but it was always different when it was a friend. It was pure hell when it was his best friend.

"About fifteen years ago my best friend and partner from down in Florida dropped dead from a heart attack. We had grown up together. We took our first jobs at the funeral home on a dare from some other kids, when we were sixteen. Digging graves. It turned out to be good pay and got us bulked up for football season. We stayed on through the school year and eventually got promoted to indoor jobs. When the time cage for college we got licensed to be embalmers and went to medical school to be pathologists. When the owners retired we were ready to take over. He was my best man and five years later I was his. We waited together when our children were born. I was there when his son had heart surgery, and he was there when Alice got sick. He was the first one I called when we knew they couldn't do anymore. He ran the home for most of a year when I had to make myself just get out of bed. Kept Breena for weeks at a time during that year. He was the one who encouraged me to move up to Virginia when I just couldn't live in our home anymore. He set me up with a friend of his from college and I groomed one of our young men to take my place before I left. We lived miles away the last ten years of his life but we were always close. Then one day he was just gone. He wanted me to arrange everything. Of course I did but it was the hardest thing I have ever done." Ed explained.

"I go in every day and sometimes it seems like I see more corpses than live people. I cut them up and inspect their organs. I have removed more bullets and diagnosed tumors than I can count. I have worked on more friends than I care to remember but Tony. Tony is different. You shouldn't have to watch your best friend die at this age. You shouldn't have to die at Tony's." Jimmy explained.

"But you see people his age all the time." Ed finished.

"At least once a month." Jimmy replied.

"And you've seen plenty of young men with cancer haven't you?" Ed asked.

"Mostly those on my table are murder victims but we've had some illnesses." Jimmy admitted.

"It never gets any easier. I can't even say you get stronger but the closer you get to the end. The more you realize that you will seem them again." Ed explained.

"I know" Jimmy replied.

"And they never leave." Ed added.

"I know" Jimmy replied again.

Breena could barely drive to the funeral home. She was dizzy and had to pull over three different times to get sick. It didn't help that Tali was crying again and Tori was having another tantrum. By the time she made the fifteen minute drive she felt like she had run a full marathon. The girls felt like they weighed three hundred pounds when she was lifting them in and out of the car seats. She stumbled into the main building. Again she had to rush to the bathroom. She hung over the toilet heaving and struggling to hold her upper body up. Once she was sure everything had passed she rose and stumbled towards the sink. She had to lean on the counter and splash water over her face just to gain the strength to stand upright. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She looked horrible. The service was starting soon. She tried to head to the viewing room but instead ended up getting sick all over the bathroom floor as she raced back into the stall.

Of course Tony's funeral was jam packed. People had to be moved out into the lobby to adhere to fire codes. Jimmy knew or recognized just about everybody in attendance. Fellow agents, officers from the three precincts Tony had served at until he joined NCIS. Frat brothers and friends from his life. A good chunk of the mourners were people Tony had helped during his life. When the time came to say a few words. It took nearly two hours and still there were others who had to be cut off due to another funeral starting soon. Of course there was not a dry eye in the house. Everybody wept for Tony DiNozzo. He had shaped and saved so many lives. The funeral ended and the mourners head to the other room for the reception. Not a word was spoken. It was hands down the most powerful funeral Jimmy Palmer had ever attended.

The time came to head over to the cemetery. Jimmy had both girls, one on each side of him. He wondered where Breena was. He had not seen her at the service or the reception. At first he thought she had chosen to sit in the lobby but when she was not at the reception he knew that something had to be up. He searched all over for her. There was a blood curdling scream from the woman's bathroom. Jimmy left the girls with the McGees and rushed off to see what was going on. There was vomit all over the floor. Pretty nasty but not that uncommon for a funeral home. Jimmy was about to write it off as just another squeamish soul. Until he noticed the crowd around the middle stall. He shoved through. Lying on the floor in a puddle of vomit was Breena.

"GIVE HER SOME AIR! CALL 911! I SAID GET BACK!" Jimmy demanded as he fell to his knees by his wife's side.

* * *

 **A/N: Jimmy just can't seem to catch a break on this emotional roller coaster. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	15. Funeral Part Two

The days following Tony's death were absolute hell. Leroy Jethro Gibbs was struggling just to stay afloat. He could barely eat or drink. His first shower since leaving the hospital was morning of the funeral. He wasn't even going through the motions. He hated that he had been denied those last moments with his son. The last days and the time after Tony left. He understood Tony's wishes. Truth be told he felt the exact same way. If he were to ever get a terminal illness. The last thing in the world he would want was a bunch of people keeping vigil over his bed. He sure as hell would not want everybody looking at his corpse. If it ever came down to it. He would go out on his own terms. Sail his boat out to the middle of the ocean. Ideally nobody would even know that he had an illness.

McGee and Delilah drove in silence. Not much had been said in past few days. Delilah had talked and tried her best to comfort McGee but McGee was largely silent. He had no words to express the great pain that he he was feeling. His friend and brother was dead. He had no idea how he was supposed to continue on. He deeply regretted not talking to Tony more in the last year and a half. He just always thought there would be more time. He was sure that there would be more time with Tony. Now Tony was gone and McGee had no idea what he was going to do.

Bishop walked through the doors of the funeral home. She always knew that she would attend Tony's funeral one day but she never thought he would have died from cancer. She always saw Tony going out in a blaze of glory or dying an old man. She never thought he would die of cancer when he was only middle aged. Dying young and leaving behind a child. Just did not seem like something Tony would do. Hell he had left NCIS to care for Tali. He was not supposed to go this way.

Dr. Brad Pitt arrived to his patient's funeral far later than he had planned. He managed to squeeze into the last open seat in the main room. His entire career he had been warned not to get close to patients. Build a rapport, know them but don't get too attached. He had always done pretty well. Until he met Tony. Tony was the nicest and most interesting guy he had ever known. For thirteen years he had known Tony like a brother. They had even hung out a few times outside of hospital walls. It had become tradition to watch the Ohio vs. Michigan game together. Those days were gone and Tony was gone. The doctor's heart was broken, shattered really. He had lost a great friend. Many people had. Tony's cancer had just been too powerful.

Ducky surveyed the crowd at the funeral. A couple hundred at least. So many people had come to pay their final respects to Anthony. It broke the elderly doctor's heart to see how many people had come to say goodbye. So many friends coming to say goodbye to a life lost too soon. Most people were in tears and the service had not even started yet. Mr. Palmer, Jethro, and Tali were by far the worst. All three were bordering on hysterical. He hated that Anthony's cancer had been so aggressive and fast moving. The form of cancer Tony had was rarely diagnosed in time. Far too often it would be found in autopsy or like in Anthony's case. Diagnosed while the patient was still alive but the diagnosis came too late for treatment. There was no justice in that.

Jethro Gibbs focused his eyes on Tony's casket. He was not sure what he was expecting. Did he really think that if he watched long enough Tony would sit up in the casket and be just fine? Did he really expect that kind of hope? He knew that Tony was dead. He had not seen the body but Tony had died in good hands. Hands that did not make a mistake like that. As nice as it would be for Tony to still be alive and by his side. That would not happen. Tony was dead. He had suffered and died. Suffered and died in a way that Tony did not deserve. Tony did not deserve the die that he had. He deserved to live to old age and die peacefully. He deserved to see Tali grow and enjoy his golden years. Instead he had died at only forty five thanks to lung cancer.

Tali cried in Jimmy's arms. This made it real. Her Aba was gone, he was really, really gone. Now they were saying goodbye forever. Tali had vague memories of her Ima's funeral. It was different. Ima's funeral was outside and not many people came. There was no body. They had not found enough. Tali was not sure what those meant but she had heard her Aba say them late one night. They had haunted her ever since.

Tony's funeral ended and the guests filed out into the lobby. The service had been long and painful. There was a reception but most people were not hungry. Ed ended up running to the grocery store and buying To-Go boxes in case anybody decided to bring anything home. The funeral was bad but things were about to get much worse. Tony's funeral was hell but somehow something far worse was about to go down. It started with a scream from the woman's bathroom. McGee remembered taking Tali and Tori so Jimmy could investigate. The rumor was that a woman had collapsed in one of the stalls. That was confirmed when within seconds an ambulance was called. Jimmy was shaking and crying too bad to speak. All anybody could make out was that Breena had become sick, very sick. Could the little family be facing another loss already?

* * *

 **A/N: Breena's fate is revealed in the next chapter. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	16. Waiting

McGee and Delilah agreed to keep the girls, while Jimmy rushed to the hospital with Breena. He wished he could say that he could not remember the last time he was this terrified but he could. The day that Tony had his biopsy and every day since. Even after Tony died and was freed from the pain. He had to worry about Tali. Poor child was falling apart. Jimmy had never seen a child so young take a loss so hard. He worried for Tori too. He knew his own daughter was lost in the shuffle but what could he do? Tony had been so fragile and needed constant care when he was home and when he was in the hospital somebody had to be there "Just in case". Now that Tony was gone, Tali was an actual risk to herself. That was just his family. The NCIS team had about a million issues of their own as result of Tony's illness and death. Now on top of everything Jimmy had to worry about Breena. Whatever this was. It was serious.

The idea that Breena could be the next to go terrified Jimmy. He could barely keep things together with her by his side. He had no idea how he would cope on his own, if he lost her. The ambulance arrived at the hospital and Breena was rushed away. From there all Jimmy could do was wait and pray.

Minutes had passed but it felt like hours. Jimmy paced around nervously. He was starting to hate hospitals. He was a doctor but he found himself in more and more situations where he was useless in a hospital. He could not save Tony and now he could not help Breena. It was hands down the worst feeling in the world. Being helpless was even worse than the day that Tony died and now Jimmy was facing it once again.

Breena woke up in the hospital room. She was feeling better now. She looked over at her arm and noticed the IV. She wasn't sure what it was for but she felt less dizzy and she actually wasn't feeling sick. She hoped that was a good sign and that whatever had happened at the funeral was not the calm before the storm.

"Good afternoon Mrs. Palmer. I am Dr. Crews. I have your test results." Dr. Crews declared as he entered her room.

"Give it to me straight. How bad is it?" Breena asked.

"The news is actually good." Dr. Crews replied.

"Really? What is it?" Breena asked.

Only two or three hours had passed but it may as well have been a lifetime. Jimmy hated that all he could do was wait. The worry was driving him crazy and there was nobody around to comfort him. He was totally alone. Ed was there in the waiting room but only in the physical sense. Jimmy's father in law as a million miles away lost in thought. Jimmy was fearing losing his wife but Ed was fearing losing his only daughter.

"Family of Breena Palmer?" Dr. Lewis called.

"That us" Ed replied.

"How is she?" Jimmy asked.

"Please come with me." Dr. Lewis instructed.

Jimmy swallowed hard. He could not read Dr. Lewis' face. Normally he was great at reading doctors faces. It came with the profession but today was different. Jimmy was not sure if Dr. Lewis was just really good at his poker face or if his own worry for Breena was fogging his mind. Whatever the case he did not have answers and he wanted answers. Jimmy and Ed exchanged nervous glances before following Dr. Lewis down the hallway but instead of going to Dr. Lewis' office. They stepped into a room. Breena's room. Jimmy shuddered. Breena looked over at them and smiled. Jimmy shuddered again. He did not know if the smile was good or bad.

"What is wrong with her?" Jimmy asked.

"I think that Breena should tell you herself." Dr. Lewis replied.

"Breena? What is it?" Jimmy asked.

"Jimmy we are going to have another baby." Breena announced.

"You are? We are?" Jimmy asked.

"Yes I am around five weeks. They are going to do an ultrasound later. They were supposed to do one now but I couldn't hold it anymore. Our baby already has a heartbeat and it's strong." Breena explained.

"Why did you pass out?" Ed asked, speaking for the first time since he heard of Breena's collapse.

"For starters my morning sickness was agrivated by the stress of today. I have been pretty sick this time around." Breena explained.

"Well why else did you pass out? Unless it is severe morning sickness?" Jimmy asked.

"The big reason was that I was dehydrated. That one was my fault. I was just so side tracked by the girls and the funeral. I hadn't drank near as much as I should, not pregnant." Breena explained.

Breena had her ultrasound just before dinner time that evening and everything looked great. Right there in the middle of the scree was a perfect little dot. Their perfect little dot. Jimmy and Breena had been talking about trying again but then Tony got sick. The coming months were so uncertain and both had their hands full. They had agreed to put off trying until after. Apparently the universe had other plans. The newest Palmer was on the way.

"Oh Jimmy" Breena gasped.

"I know it is perfect." Jimmy agreed.

"What do you think we will have this time?" Breena asked.

"You weren't so sick with Tori and the heart rate is in the boy range." Jimmy commented.

"I would love a boy." Breena replied.

"Same here" Jimmy agreed.

"Of course another daughter would be amazing too." Breena replied.

"It sure would." Jimmy replied.

"We make amazing babies." Breena said.

"You make them amazing. I just contribute the seed." Jimmy laughed.

"Don't talk like that. My children could not be half of what they are without you." Breena corrected.

"Thank you" Jimmy replied.

"Jesus Christ, Jimmy we are about to have three children." Breena gasped.

* * *

 **A/N: Finally some good news. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	17. Rebuilding

The story Jimmy and Breena agreed on was that she had suffered dehydration and exhaustion. Everything looked great with the baby but it was still very early and with all the stress the Palmer's were dealing with. Too much could go wrong. Besides the fact that Tony had just died, they had just had his funeral. They knew that life went on and that Tony would want them to move forward, but they did not want their big announcement to be shadowed by his death. It was bad enough they had to share the big day with the day of his funeral.

Breena was still asleep when Jimmy had to leave the next morning. Normally she would have been discharged after morning rounds but she had not slept more than a couple of hours since Tony went into the hospital. They had opted to just let her sleep and keep her until she was ready to wake up. It's not like she would be returning to an easy situation.

Jimmy was not kidding when he told McGee that things with the girls were difficult at best. Tori's anger at Tali had seemingly hit it's fever pitch. So much that McGee and Delilah had to take the girls to separate parts of the house. Any time Tori saw Tali she would just start beating on her. Tali would just sit there and take it. McGee had rough housed with Tali before he knew she was not the type to just sit there. That girl was already almost as deadly as her parents. Tali was severely depressed. McGee did not know a child so young could get so depressed. He was legitimately worried for her. She was still refusing to eat and putting up a fight when it came to drinking.

"Jimmy just called. He's on the way. Breena is going to be in the hospital for a few more hours but she should be home by tonight." Delilah announced.

"How is she holding up?" McGee asked.

"She's keeping fluids down and they gave her a bland breakfast. So far, so good." Delilah explained.

"And they're sure it's just dehydration and exhaustion?" McGee asked.

"Jimmy seemed to let on something else was going on but I don't think it's too serious if she is coming home. They didn't say anything about a follow up. Maybe just the flu." Delilah suggested.

"Maybe" McGee replied.

"Did you tell him about our night?" McGee asked.

"No the poor guy is overwhelmed enough as it is besides. I am sure he is more than aware." Delilah replied.

"Yeah. I am very worried about Tali. This is not normal. Her behavior would be worrisome in an adult but it is terrifying in a child. I think they need to look into professional help." McGee explained/

"Like a psychologist?" Delilah gasped.

"She is not eating, she is barely drinking. She is not interacting." McGee explained.

"I know but still. She's so young." Delilah sighed.

"That's what's worrisome." McGee replied.

The tables were turned Jimmy was alone with the girls and Breena was at the hospital. Jimmy was extremely nervous to be handling the girls by himself. The McGee's had offered to keep the girls a little longer but Jimmy had refused. They had done more than enough. So far things were going about as well as to be expected. Tali was breaking down and Tori was furious.

"Where's mamma?" Tori asked.

"She is still at the hospital. I am going to pick her up soon." Jimmy explained.

"This is your fault!" Tori screamed shoving Tali.

"I know" Tali replied.

"Victoria Elizabeth Palmer!" Jimmy snapped.

"Well it's true" Tori retorted.

Surprisingly Breena was anxious to get home. She missed Jimmy and she really missed the girls. She was grateful for the rest. Even more grateful her illness was not more serious. Still she could not wait to get home. She had called for a nurse when she woke up and was told that they would call Jimmy. They brought discharge papers for her and once they were signed she went back to waiting.

"Are you sure you are ready?" Jimmy asked.

"More ready than you know." Breena sighed.

"Well I am glad to have you back." Jimmy replied.

"How did things go?" Breena asked.

"About the same as always." Jimmy replied.

Gibbs managed to drag himself outside. He found himself sitting on the porch staring into the horizon. His already damaged heart had been broken once again. He had been unable to stop crying since the funeral. His cheeks, eyes, and mouth were burning and raw. He had not cried this much since he lost his girls. He had lost a lot of people over the years but Tony was a particularly devastating blow. What made losing Tony worse was seeing the pain on Tali's face and knowing there was nothing anybody could do to make her feel better.

Jimmy studied the screen saver on his phone. Tony had taken it on his and Tali's first day back in America. The girls were sprawled out on the floor playing with their dolls. They had been best friends back then. Now not so much. Jimmy knew Tori did not really hate Tali. Her world had just been flipped completely upside down. She had just gone from an only child, her parents whole world to the middle kid. Her parents had been spending so much time dealing with Tony and now with Tali. She was just shoved aside. Jimmy wished that he could take a special day just for Tori but Tali needed so much and Breena was struggling with morning sickness along with other side effects of pregnancy. Jimmy was pulled from his thoughts by the front door opening. Ed came into the living room and cleared his throat.

"Where's Breena?" Ed asked.

"She's lying down." Jimmy replied.

"How is she?" Ed asked.

"Better" Jimmy replied.

"Have you told anyone yet?" Ed asked.

"We are waiting until we are sure everything is OK." Jimmy replied.

"Makes sense" Ed replied.

"What do you need? Should I wake her?" Jimmy asked.

"No I can talk to her later. I just came to say it's my friend Steve's birthday next week. I was going to go down to Florida to celebrate with him. Well his granddaughter shares a birthday with him. So they were going to go down to Disney and a couple other parks down there." Ed explained.

"Sounds fun" Jimmy replied.

"I was thinking. His granddaughter is just a couple months older than Tori. Maybe I could bring her with me and let her enjoy herself. I will pay for everything." Ed offered.

"I don't know. It's a nice offer but..." Jimmy started.

"It's only for three days and I have the money." Ed explained.

"I'll talk it over with Breena." Jimmy replied.

* * *

 **A/N: Hopefully Breena will except Ed's offer. He can give Tori what the Palmer's can't at the moment. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	18. Restless

Ed's offer was genuine and he could afford to do everything he offered, but it was still not an easy decision to make. They knew that Tori needed the attention and that she was in good hands but still. At age two Tori had only been away from home and both parents overnight. Ed was now talking about taking her out of the state for an entire week. That kind of a trip was a pretty big milestone. One that would be hard for any parent to make.

"I think we should let her go." Jimmy declared they were now on hour four of their back and forth.

"Are you sure?" Breena asked.

"Look your dad loves her and he can give her full attention for that week. Who knows when we can make things about her again. Tali is going to need a lot of help and the baby is coming in eight and a half months. Give her the week with Grandpa that is just for her and that will be a better memory then sitting in waiting rooms while we try to figure out Tali." Jimmy explained.

"She could stay with Ed in town." Breena sighed.

"Ed is leaving in four days and Tali needs help now. We can't put it off. We can get the ball rolling on helping Tali and work something out for Tori. Then when she comes back in a week things will be easier. She will be relaxed. We will be stressed but we're parents. We're always stressed. We will be a hell of a lot less stressed if we can have this week to focus on Tali and forming our new lives." Jimmy explained.

"I'll call my dad." Breena sighed.

Breena adored her father and she knew that he adored Tori but this was not an easy call to make. Even if it were just for a week. Even if Tori was going to love this trip. She was not ready for Tori to take this step. If it were not for circumstances she would wait at least another year before even considering sending Tori out of the state with somebody who was not her or Jimmy. Even if it were family but Jimmy was right. Tali was going to take all their attention.

That night was hard on Jimmy. The grief was stabbing him like a knife. He was desperately missing his friend. He was haunted by the memories of Tony's final days. He hated how it had ended for his friend. How weak Tony had been and how he had fought with all he had. Just to die in a cold hospital room. He hated that Breena and him had to carry Tony to the bathroom and clean him numerous times because he was too weak to shower himself. He knew that Tony had been embarrassed. He knew it wouldn't have been much better if they had been able to get a nurse. He knew that as painful as it was for him and everybody who cared for Tony. Especially little Tali. That death was best for Tony. Aggressive lung cancer on already severely scarred lungs. Jimmy had seen the X-Rays. How big the tumors were. There would have been no quality of life if Tony had survived somehow. Jimmy, Tali, and everybody else were in hell right now but Tony was free. Tony was free. Jimmy breathed a sigh of relief. His friend was free. No more pain for him. A lifetime of pain for his daughter and everybody else who had loved him.

Gibbs took a swig from the bottle. He had found the one bottle Ducky had missed. A gift from Mike on his birthday, the last year that Mike was alive. He had meant to save it for the ten year anniversary but that was before Tony got sick. Before Tony died and Ducky took everything away. He had hid it away and even Ducky did not know the hiding place. A fourth of the bottle already gone. So much for hanging on. He could not even tell you how it tasted. He could only cry. He had lost a second child. Another true friend. The pain was too great.

Tali woke up in a sweat. She forgot where she was and then she remembered. She remembered that her Aba was dead and she was staying with the Palmer's. A family she barely knew. Both of her parents were dead. In her child's mind that meant they were just sleeping forever. She wished that she could sleep forever but she could barely sleep a night thanks to her grief. She wished she knew a way to make herself dead. So she could be with them.

Tori watched the intruder. The new sister she had been forced to accept. When her friends got new sisters or brothers they were cute little babies. Tali was older than her and she cried more than any baby Tori had ever seen. It wasn't a cute cry either. It was a loud almost shriek. It was constant and it was maddening. Tori wished that she would just shut up. She wished that Tali would just go away. She wished that she could have her old life back.

Ed packed his bags. He was thrilled for his first big trip with his first granddaughter but he was hurt by the circumstance. He wished he could do more for his daughter and son in law. He wished there was anything he could do for his new granddaughter but he could not help Tali. All he could do was take Tori for a few days and let them get things sorted. He just prayed that his contribution was a fraction of enough for this broken family.

Breena patted her stomach. She prayed this baby was a boy. Jimmy and her had been sure that Tori was a boy. They loved Tori with all their hearts but they had wanted a baby boy. If this baby was another girl they would love her the same as they did Tali and Tori. With all their hearts. They would adopt a boy down the road. If and when settled down. If this were a boy they would still adopt a boy down the road. Two of each would be perfect. An adopted boy with three sisters would be perfect. They just wanted a this baby to a boy so he could be Anthony. So he could share Tony's name and carry on his spirit.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm back. Sorry for the hiatus. Nothing was wrong, I was just super busy with work. Turns out being a cashier during the holidays kind of sucks. Oh well it's over and I am going to get back on track. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	19. Emotional

It had been another hard night for the Palmer family. Nobody got much sleep but that had become the new normal. Tali was up with nightmares, just like every night now. Jimmy and Breena were tending to her and battling their own fears. Neither was ready to send Tori away. Even if it was just for a week and even if it was what was best for everybody. They were sending their child away.

Jimmy made sure that Tori's suitcases were in order. He triple checked to ensure her teddy bear and special blanket were in the carry on bag. He did this because he knew there was no way that Breena could handle it. He could barely handle it but he knew Breena would fall apart. Tori was just going away for five days but she may as well be leaving for college. The first time a baby left home was never easy.

Breena helped Tali get dressed. She knew that she was doting too much on their newest daughter. She also knew that Tali needed the extra attention. Still today she should be focusing on Tori. She should be helping Jimmy get her ready, but she couldn't. She couldn't stand to think about Tori leaving. She didn't care that it was only for a week. She felt like a failure. She could not care for two children at once. How was she going to handle it when the new baby arrived.

"I know what you are thinking but you are not a bad parent." Jimmy assured.

"I have to send my daughter away to be able to handle a second child. How am I going to handle it when the baby comes?" Breena questioned.

"Tali is not just any child. She is severely damaged. Besides a lot of parents need back up when a new baby arrives. It is always an adjustment." Jimmy assured.

"What if she resents us for this?" Breena asked.

"She won't she is young and this is a big change. At the end of the day it is no different than welcoming a new baby. It is a big adjustment but she will adapt and they will be best friends before we know it." Jimmy assured.

"I hope so." Breena sighed.

Ed pulled into Jimmy and Breena's driveway. He was excited about this trip. He had wanted to do a special trip just him and Tori from the moment he heard about her. The plan had been to take her down to Orlando the summer before she started real school. He had already begun making plans. This week was supposed to be a family trip but then everything happened with Tony and little Tali was so vulnerable. He decided to move up the trip and give Tali a special trip. Just the two of them.

"She ready?" Ed asked exiting the car.

"Breena is bringing her out. Uh Breena is actually having a hard time with this." Jimmy explained.

"I will be careful." Ed assured.

"Don't worry about it. I am just warning you." Jimmy clarified.

"It was hard when we sent Breena away the first time and she was six years old." Ed recalled.

"I can imagine. I really thought about us going too but I don't think Tali could handle it and it would be way too much to leave her with strangers." Jimmy explained.

Breena carried Tori out of the house. She was beyond excited for her little girl. She remembered going on trips with her grandparents. It always was a truly amazing experience. She had been looking forward to Ed taking Tori on special trips. Especially since Jimmy's parents weren't around anymore. Jimmy had Ducky but Ducky did not have the memories of Jimmy's childhood. Aside from through second hand stories.

"Alright Tori, you are going on a special trip with Grandpa Ed." Breena explained.

"Where?" Tori asked.

"You are going to Disney World and Universal Studios for a birthday party." Breena explained.

"Whose?" Tori asked.

"Grandpa Ed's friend and his granddaughter." Breena explained.

"Why aren't you going?" Tori asked.

"Because this is a special trip just for girls and their grandfathers." Breena explained.

"Is she going?" Tori questioned.

"No Tali is staying here so we can take her to the doctor." Breena explained.

"She's sick?" Tori asked.

"Yes" Breena replied.

Gibbs stumbled up the basement steps. The bourbon was gone and he doubted that Ducky would get him anymore. His escape was gone and he had no idea how he was going to handle things now that he was being so controlled. He was still trying to move past Shannon and Kelly. How was he supposed to move past Tony?

"I know you were drinking last night Jethro." Ducky announced.

"How the hell else am I supposed to move on?" Jethro demanded.

"I can set you up an appointment with Rachel Cranston or another therapist." Ducky offered.

"I don't need therapy! I need Tony back! I need him to not have had that stupid cancer! I need him to not have left us so soon!" Jethro snapped.

"We all need that Jethro." Ducky sighed.

"Not as much as I do!" Jethro spat.

"I know" Ducky sighed.

Jimmy buckled Tori in to her car seat. He could not believe this was really happening. He could not believe his baby girl was leaving. Just for a week but Breena was right. It was not any easier. His heart was breaking. It was absolutely breaking. He wished that he could talk to Tony about this. He wished that Tony was here.

"Goodbye baby girl. I will see you in a week." Jimmy said.

"Goodbye Tori be good and we will see you next week." Breena explained.

"Bye mommy! Bye daddy!" Tori cried.

Jimmy and Breena clung to each other as Ed drove away. Tori was fine when they left, almost too fine. They were happy she loved her grandpa so much but they were still hoping for a few tears. Just some indication that she would miss them. They wished they could go. They desperately wished that things could be different.

* * *

 **A/N: How will Tori do on the trip? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	20. Arranging Treatment

Jimmy ran his hand through Tali's hair. She reminded him so much of Ziva. So much of both of her parents. He had prayed that Tali would have an easier life. That prayer was empty from the moment he met her. She had lost her mother in a horrible way. Then she lost her father in an equally devastating way. Now she had inherited her parents misery. At least Tony and Ziva had been adults when they had become so broken.

"We are going to get you help Tali." Jimmy assured.

"What do you mean?" Tali asked.

"We are going to take you to a special doctor who will make you feel better." Jimmy explained.

"How?" Tali asked.

"By talking about your problems." Jimmy replied.

Jimmy spent the afternoon calling around to pediatric psychologists. It was near impossible to find anybody who could treat a child Tali's age. She was so young and it was rare for a child so young to have so many issues. She was just a baby. It was unfair that she had to go through so much pain and heartache. Finally he found a doctor willing to help. She specialized in traumatized children. She had never treated a child Tali's age before. The youngest she had ever treated was five years old. Just a year older than Tali. At last there was hope.

"I got her an appointment. The doctor's name is Dr. Nadir she is out in Tacoma Springs. It's a drive but if she can help Tali it is worth it." Jimmy explained.

"What day and what time?" Breena asked.

"Monday at nine. I don't know if I can get off. Can you take her?" Jimmy asked.

"I don't see any problem." Breena replied.

"Thanks" Jimmy replied.

"I am sorry I couldn't be more help but I had to rush out to help with that funeral." Breena explained.

"NO it's fine." Jimmy assured.

Breena made arrangements to ensure she would be able to take Tali to the psychologist. She never thought she would be going to a child psychologist's office. She always thought kiddie shrinks were for spoiled rich kids who didn't get their way one time. She hated how closed minded that sounded. Seeing Tali showed her that some kids even tiny ones really did have problems. Major problems. The things Tali had been through in just two years were more than Breena had in her entire life. She had lost her mother young. The cancer had been aggressive and there were a lot of tears but at least she'd still had her father. Tali had lost everything. She had been traumatized twice. This girl was broken and it broke Breena's heart. She prayed she never saw a child as damaged as Tali again. She prayed that Tali would recover and live a semi normal life. She just wanted there to be hope for her children. She wanted this for herself as much as for Tali. It was selfish but she hated seeing this little girl like this. It was absolutely unfair.

Gibbs held the picture of Tony close. He could not believe that his son was gone. He could not believe that all this had happened so fast. There was so much he had wanted to tell Tony. So much he had wanted them to do together. He had wanted Tony to grow old. He had wanted to leave his house to Tony and Tali. He had been looking for a smaller place when Tony died. He recalled thinking how great it would be to see Tony enjoy his home, while he was still alive. Instead he had buried Tony and was watching the world collapse around him. He wished that things were different. He wanted only to change places with Tony.

Tali watched blankly as Jimmy cooked dinner. Breena would be home soon and Tori would come home in a week. She'd heard Jimmy talking on the phone. She didn't understand much but she was sure they were getting rid of her. Who wanted a child like her? Besides she wasn't even their child. They had no need for a child like her.

Jimmy watched Tali out of the corner of his eye. He had made the appointment but that was only half the battle. It's not like one appointment would magically cure Tali. This wasn't Stephanie Tanner upset by an earthquake. This was Tali DiNozzo losing both of her parents tragically. This was going to be a long road but Breena and him were not the type to give up. They would never give up on Tali. No matter how hard things got.

Ed and Tori arrived to their hotel around dinner time. He made sure the room was in order two double beds and he had ordered a crib just in case she did not behave in the bed. He changed Tori's diaper and got himself washed up. Before taking Tali in his arms and heading downstairs for dinner. He got chicken tenders and salad for Tori and the fish dinner for himself.

"This is fun!" Tori cried.

"I am glad you are enjoying yourself." Ed replied.

"Thanks and I am glad Tali isn't here." Tori replied.

"Why?" Ed asked.

"Cause I don't like her." Tori replied.

"Why?" Ed asked.

"Cause she gets all the attention." Tori replied.

"Victoria, Tali has been through a lot. She is really sad. Sadder than you have ever been. She needs all that attention." Ed explained.

"Well I still don't like her." Tori scoffed.

"That's too bad." Ed replied.

Tali rested her head on Jimmy's leg. She knew that she was not going to sleep. It was pointless for her to even try. She was tired, sad, and scared. Her biggest fear was not that the Palmer's would give her up. Though that was a major one. Her biggest fear was losing them. She had no idea what would happen to her if she lost the Palmer's. She just knew that it would not be a happy ending.

* * *

 **A/N: How will therapy go for Tali? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	21. Therapy

A reminder for Tali's appointment popped up on Jimmy's phone late Sunday night. He was correct in thinking that he could not get off of work, but Breena was able to take her. She had made arrangements with the funeral home. Jimmy hated having to miss the appointment but he had missed a great deal of work in the last few months and he was going to miss Friday. Breena was returning to work but Jimmy was going to take Tori out for a special day. Just the two of them. Ducky had agreed to keep her for a few hours so Jimmy could take Tori out for lunch.

"Tali's appointment is tomorrow at nine." Jimmy reminded.

"I have everything arranged." Breena assured.

"Thank you. I am sorry I cannot make it." Jimmy apologized.

"It's fine you have missed a lot of work and besides you do need to spend Friday with Tori." Breena assured.

"I hope Tali does well with you." Jimmy sighed.

"She will do as good as she does." Breena replied.

Breena tossed and turned all night. She was stressing bad about the appointment. She worried that Tali would have an episode when they were alone. She worried the doctor would not be able to help her. She worried that they would be told the best option would in fact for the to put Tali up for adoption. She had inquired in a parent's group about what to do. Most comments were supportive but several people had suggested handing Tali over to foster parents who specialized in caring for traumatized children. Maybe to a facility temporarily but Breena could never give Tali away. She could never let her daughter down like that.

Jimmy struggled through the morning. He felt terrible for leaving. No amount of assurance could make him feel any better. For a brief moment he knew how Tali felt but knew it was nothing like what she was enduring. Fresh guilt came over him. He took another swig of coffee, before stepping out into autopsy. Ducky looked in his direction. Jimmy trudged over to the table. He slammed his hands down on the cool metal.

"Rough morning?" Ducky asked.

"Breena had to take Tali to therapy this morning. A specialist out in Tacoma." Jimmy replied.

"Washington State?!" Ducky gasped.

"No Tacoma Springs, Maryland" Jimmy laughed.

"Oh of course! Young Tali would be seeing Dr. Nadir I do believe." Ducky gasped.

"Linda" Jimmy sighed.

"She is excellent she studied under one of my dear friends. Even as a young college student she was brilliant. I assure you that Tali is in wonderful hands." Ducky assured.

"I know but she shouldn't have to be. She shouldn't have to go to therapy at least not for what she has to. A kid's problems should be temporary. Not permanent. Not being orphaned at four and shuffled between three different countries. Three different families. She is just a child." Jimmy rambled.

"I agree whole heartedly. However what I can tell you is that I commend you and Breena for doing what you can and all you have for her. She is in wonderful hands and I know that Anthony is at peace knowing." Ducky explained.

"I can only hope so." Jimmy sighed.

Breena took a seat in the shrink's office. She had Tali in her arms. Tali had screamed the entire drive and continued as they stepped into the office. Breena was expecting judgmental stares. The same ones she had received trying to take Tali to the store. The same she had admittedly given in the days before adopting Tali. Instead she received pity. She saw other parents dealing with traumatized children. Children with cuts and self injuries on their bodies. A child was throwing himself hard onto the floor. Breena shuddered as Tali continued to scream.

"Tali Palmer" The receptionist screamed.

"NOOOO!" Tali screamed as Breena carried her through the door, this was really happening.

Gibbs pulled himself up off the floor. He looked around the basement. There were bottles and cans scattered on and around the work bench. He couldn't remember how he had gotten the liquor just that he had. His head was pounding and standing was almost impossible. He was dizzy and miserable. He could hear Ducky screaming at somebody upstairs. No other voices lead Jethro to believe that his old friend was on the phone hadn't he gone to work today? Head throbbing and the world spinning around him, Jethro drug himself up the basement stairs. Falling twice before reaching the door. He reached for the knob and fell backwards going down the stairs and crashing hard onto the landing. He tried to stand and ended up going the rest of the way down to the floor. As he was trying to stand, the basement door opened and Ducky raced down to his aide.

"Ouch" Jethro moaned as Ducky pressed down on his ankle.

"Wonderful job Jethro. You seem to have broken your ankle." Ducky scoffed.

"Give me a break." Jethro hissed.

"Give you a break? Give you a break?! You smell a brewery! You fell down a flight of stairs! You tricked poor Timothy into bringing you alcohol!" Ducky ranted.

"I am having a tough time. I could use a break." Jethro reminded.

"Giving you a break is how I let you go down that road. I am not doing that." Ducky rebutted.

"What are you going to do? Send me off to rehab?" Jethro questioned.

"I am not sending you to rehab. What I am going to do is insist that you get counseling. It is clear to me that you are not coping with Anthony's death well. I thought you could work through as you had with Caitlin, Jennifer, Michael and the others but it is clear to me you are not going to get through this on your own. You are in desperate needing of professional help." Ducky explained.

"I don't need help! I need Tony!" Jethro snapped.

"I cannot bring Anthony back." Ducky reminded.

"I know but it hurts. God it hurts so much." Jethro sobbed.

* * *

 **A/N: Will Gibbs and Tali ever recover? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	22. Helpless

Dr. Nadir was eager and prepared to care for Tali but it was clear even with a great doctor. Recovery was not going to be easy. Tali did not talk much during the session. Instead Breena poured her heart out about Tony's illness and death. It was strange to be a grown woman opening up to a pediatric psychologist but the events had affected her more than she had thought. It had been a devastating blow.

Dr. Nadir listened to Breena. The first appointment was really more to get to know parents anyway. The next appointment Tali would have to open up. Knowing her parents that was probably easier said than done. Breena exited the office with a heavy heart. Tali cried the entire drive home. Dr. Nadir was a great psychologist but Breena was still having her doubts about whether or not this treatment would be effective.

The appointment did not go as expected. Jimmy leaned hard against the wall and rubbed his eyes. He wished there were some instruction manual for this. Some indication that things would return to at least close to normal. Some indication that Tali would one day be OK.

Gibbs pulled himself off of the couch. His head was throbbing and he felt terrible. He thought hangovers were supposed to get better but this one seemed to be getting worse. Then again it had been years since he had a true hangover. He would have been at least twenty years younger. These things really did get worse as you got older. He stumbled to the kitchen. He reached for the coffee pot. He poured himself a huge cup. He took one swing and immediately spit it out onto the floor.

"Honestly Jethro. I know you do not like decaff but spitting is so unseemly." Ducky groaned.

"Decaff? Why the hell is their decaff in my house?" Jethro demanded.

"I am only allowed a limited amount of caffeine anymore. I am terribly sorry. I meant to empty the pot into my thermos but Mr. Palmer called me. Tali is not doing well." Ducky explained.

"I guess Tali is all that matters." Jethro scoffed.

"Jethro I never said anything remotely like that." Ducky argued.

"Just leave me alone!" Jethro snapped before storming back down to the basement.

Jimmy and Breena sat side by side on the couch. After a disheartening day they were glad to be together. Tali was already asleep. She had worn herself out screaming. The last thing Jimmy and Breena wanted to do was give Tali up, but they were beginning to wonder just how much more they could handle. Tali was a very sick little girl and her recovery was an uphill battle.

"What exactly did Dr. Nadir say?" Jimmy asked.

"Just that these things take time. That with Tali's current state it could be months before we even get a break through. When it comes down to it recovery is going to take years." Breena explained.

"If she ever recovers." Jimmy sighed.

"Afraid so." Breena replied.

Jimmy spent the night lying awake. His heart was heavy. The news Breena had shared was better and worse than he had anticipated. He worried that they would be told there was no hope and Tali would endure great suffering for the rest of her life. Still part of him held onto hope that there would be an immediate breakthrough and they would get the old Tali back. Breena was was beside him in the bed, she too was unable to sleep.

Breena tossed and turned in bed. Her appointment was weighing heavily on her mind. She was tired and frustrated. These days were bad but they gave her an idea of what Tali was enduring. She could not imagine being so young and so broken. She could not imagine having no hope. She had been in seemingly hopeless situations but she had never been truly and totally void of any and all hope. Beside her Jimmy was not getting any sleep either.

Once again Gibbs was dragging himself off the basement floor. The hangover had thankfully passed but he was getting too old to pass out on the floor. He remembered his spat with Ducky. He did not want to see that old bastard. He groaned and climbed up onto the table. He curled up and pulled his jacket over his head. It was going to be a long night.

Tali stood in the doorway of Tori's room. She wondered where Tori had gone. She wondered if it were her fault Tori was gone. She wondered if her friend would be back. Tori had been pretty mean to her but she still did not deserve to be sent away. Tali fell to the floor in tears. Why did people always leave her? Did she make people want to leave?

Ducky watched Jethro toss and turn on the work table. Jethro had been outright mean earlier but he still did not deserve this. He deserved to come upstairs and get some real sleep. Jethro had been sleeping most of the day but it was a fitful sleep brought on by a nasty hangover. The old doctor seriously doubted that his friend had gotten any rest during that sleep.

Tony looked down on his family. They were falling apart at the seems. He wished that he could talk to them, tell them everything would be OK. He could come down and visit but worried that would only make things worse. Gibbs had hung on to Mike for years. He never properly mourned. Tony did not want to put anybody through that. Especially not Tali. Still it was hard to watch everybody mourn. Something had to be done. It just had to.

Tali cried herself back to sleep. They had taken her to the doctor. She heard about helping her get better, but she was not going to get better. How was she supposed to get better when her life was so painful?

* * *

 **A/N: Tony will intervene soon. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	23. Moving On

Tori was due to arrive home in a matter of hours. Jimmy and Breena were thrilled to have their daughter back home, but also worried. Tali had been doing the better over the past week. Far from recovered but she was on her way. They worried Tori would return to bullying Tali. They worried it would off set the balance. It was hard to be worried about welcoming their child back home. Everything was hard lately.

"Dad just called. They are getting on the plane in about ten minutes. They should be back to the house around four." Breena announced.

"I will be so glad to see her again." Jimmy replied.

McGee was doing better every day. Getting over the loss of Tony was an uphill battle. There were still times every day that he wanted to call Tony. It was a punch to the gut the times he dialed the number and was greeted by the message that the number was no longer in service. Delilah was helping him the best she could and he was talking to a counselor.

"How was therapy?" Delilah asked.

"Pretty good." McGee replied.

"I am going to see my dad next weekend. I am taking John with me. Are you going to be alright on your own." Delilah informed him

"Is it too late for me to book a ticket?" McGee asked.

"Can you afford to miss work? Remember I am leaving Friday afternoon and not getting back until Tuesday evening." Delilah explained.

"I will talk to Vance." McGee replied.

"Tim I made these arrangements months ago. I even offered to fly out a little later and come back a little earlier. You insisted that you wanted to stay." Delilah recalled.

"I just need to get away." McGee replied

"You've been finding any excuse to miss work you can since Tony died." Delilah pointed out.

"Tony and I haven't worked together in over a year but it's still weird." McGee admitted.

"Do you think you need a career change?" Delilah asked.

"I've been talking it over with Dr. Cranston. I think I do." McGee replied.

Bishop didn't even know Tony that well. They had been close but they weren't exactly best friends. At least that's what she thought. It was not until after Tony died that she realized how much they had shared. She wasn't trying to call him almost every day like McGee but she thought of him often. Slowly it was becoming warm memories and a smile. Thinking about things Tony would have enjoyed and how happy he must be. She was on the road to recovery but it had not been an easy road. She took comfort in knowing that she would see him again one day.

Ducky watched Jethro. He wondered why Timothy and and Elanor were doing so well in their recovery, but Jethro was still struggling so. No he did not wonder. He knew why. Timothy and Elanor just saw Anthony as a friend and brother. Jethro saw Anthony as a son. In losing Anthony, Jethro had lost a second child. It was miserable enough to cope with the loss of one child. How could he possible cope with the loss of two? How could anybody deal with the loss of two children?

Jimmy drove to the airport to pick up Tori. He could not wait to be reunited with Tori. He had missed her so much over the past week. He looked forward to seeing the pictures and hearing the stories. He bet that she had, had a wonderful time. He was actually jealous of Ed. The first major trip was something that he had wanted to share with his baby girl. He had missed that opportunity. He felt incredibly guilty. He felt like he was missing out on Tori's life carrying for Tali. At least he understood while Tori was so envious of Tali. She had kind of taken over.

"I am sorry, Tori. I will try to do better." Jimmy apologized.

Breena studied the girl's room. This room was all Tori. It had been her room after all. Tali needed her own room. At the very least a little more space to make her own. Something to make her own. There was only one problem. Their current house only had three bedrooms. They needed the extra room for the baby. Even if the baby was not on the way. The third room was the room where Tony had spent his illness. Tali had basically watched her Abba die in that room. There was no way that she would ever feel welcome in that room. In this house.

Gibbs watched the world pass him by. That's what he had been doing since Tony died. He had just been existing. He struggled to cope. He could not cope. Tony was his son and his everything. He loved McGee and Bishop. They were his children but Tony was special. Tony was closest to him in personality and in emotional bond. Losing a child was the worst pain that a man could endure. He had lost two. What was their to keep him going. Nothing. There was no reason to keep going on. He did not care if he lived or died. He did not want to live anymore. He was going to end it all. As soon as Ducky fell asleep he was going to take his own life. To him that was his only way out of this pit of eternal misery.

"I will see you soon, Tony. Don't worry. I will see you soon." Jethro sobbed.

Tori practically flew into Jimmy's arms. He was so relieved to see his baby girl. He picked her up and carried her through the airport. Ed followed close behind with the luggage. Jimmy wiped tears away from his eyes. He was so happy. For the first time in so long he was really, truly happy.

* * *

 **A/N: Will Jethro go through with his suicide? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	24. Moving On 2

Breena was so happy to be reunited with Tori. It had been a long week without her first born. Tori raced through the door with an armload of stuffed animals and souvenirs Breena could not help but laugh. When she was growing up it was one souvenir and only one. Clearly that did not carry over to grandchildren. Along with Tori's mountain of presents. Ed had also bought bag loads of gifts for Tali and the new baby. Jimmy put the baby's gifts in the closet of the guest room. Tony's room. Breena gave Tali her gifts. Tali sorted through them but quickly lost interest.

"What do we say?" Breena asked, Tali.

"Thank you, Ed." Tali replied.

"Your welcome" Ed replied.

Jimmy and Breena carried the girls' presents upstairs. They put Tori's gifts in her toy chest and Tali's gifts in a Rubbermaid box at the end of her bed. Just another reminder that Tali did not have a home here yet. Tori started to drag her toys out but fell asleep before her parents could get onto her. Tali on the other hand walked away from the box and climbed up onto her bed. She sat on the sheets and watched her sister sleep.

"I thought she was getting help? Why does she seem worse?" Ed asked.

"Dr. Nadir said it takes time." Breena replied.

"But she will get better. Won't she?" Ed asked.

"I don't know." Breena replied sadly.

Gibbs surveyed his choice; a bottle of pills, rope wrapped around the railing, knife, or gun. Gun would definitely be the quickest method. It would also maim him beyond recognition. It depended with the knife. Where he went. Really more slow and bloody than he cared to go. Pills too slow and too survivable. Ducky could find him in time. The rope was slow and it would break his neck. Ducky may find him in time but no gore. He made the noose and tied the other end around the railing.

"This is it." Gibbs sighed.

Jimmy and Breena were alone in their room. Both girls were asleep. At least they thought Tali was. She had appeared to be the last time they checked the girls. The knew better than to touch Tali when she actually slept. The last time they did they accidentally woke her from her first sleep I days. From then on they never touched her unless they absolutely had to.

"We need a new house." Breena announced.

"Why?" Jimmy asked.

"Tali needs a space of her own. Even if the girls still have to share a room. Tali needs to live somewhere else. She doesn't need to be in the house where Tony was sick." Breena explained.

"I know" Jimmy replied.

"I know it's expensive and frivolous but it needs to happen." Breena admitted.

"No I had the same thought." Jimmy assured.

"Do you think Tori will take the move well?" Breena asked.

"She is young she may not even notice. We moved when I was around that age. I didn't notice for a couple weeks." Jimmy explained.

"Tori is so angry about all this. Ed said she was still upset." Breena replied.

"She will come around." Jimmy assured.

McGee had prepared his resignation letter. It was a strange thought leaving NCIS. Tony had not worked their for years but now that he was gone forever. The memories hit him like a ton of bricks every time he entered the building. He was haunted. The memories were good but they still hurt. It hurt to know that Tony was gone. It hurt to know that there were only memories left. He wished that things could just go back to how they were. He wished desperately to have Tony back. Tony was not coming back and now it was time for McGee to move on as well.

Moving would be strange but Jimmy knew it was necessary. With three children they would need more space, a larger yard. Tali did not need to live in the home where Tony had spent most of his final days. Tori needed something new as well. Maybe a new house with neutral territory was just what the girls needed. This house would not be Tori's and not Tali's. It would be both girls. Both girls would start over in a new life. In a few months they would have a new baby to love. Tori would like being a big sister a lot. Tali may just like having a baby too. Somebody who saw her with new eyes and loved her from the start.

Gibbs stepped into the noose. He closed his eyes and took one last deep breath. He could not believe that he was about to do this. That he was about to end his life. He had been here once before. After Shannon and Kelly died. Back then it was a gun. Back then he didn't care who care about his condition. Because it was not his best friend who would be finding him. There was a loud crack. He took what he thought would be his last breath. He was not choking. He was falling. He could not help but let out a audible scream as he crashed to the ground. The railing breaking in two on either side of him.

Ducky woke with a start. He heard a crash from the basement. He knew that Jethro had been down there when he went to sleep. The door was locked. Ducky searched frantically for the key. Before finally finding it covered with dust on top of the fridge. He raced back to the basement and managed to jimmy the door open despite the key being caked in dust and grime. The rail was broken. He recalled Jethro fixing it improperly when Anthony was in the hospital. He caught something on the basement floor. The figure whimpered and moved. The older man's heart dropped down below the basement floor and deep into the ground. He raced down the stairs as fast as his legs would carry him, praying that it was not too late. He knew better than to move Jethro, even though his friend was semi conscious. He just called 911 and did his best to keep calm.

"Hang on, Jethro help is on the way." Ducky assured.

* * *

 **A/N: How much damage did Gibbs do to himself? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	25. Jethro's Breakdown

By the time help arrived Jethro was speaking. He was crying for Tony and insisting that he did not need help. He had attempted suicide, it was clear he had attempted suicide. He was being taken to the hospital. At least for observation.

"I don't want to go. I want Tony. I want to be dead." Jethro rambled.

"I know Jethro but Anthony would not want it that way." Ducky explained.

"Who is Anthony?" One of the EMT's asked.

"He worked for Jethro. He was more of a son." Ducky explained.

"What happened?" The second EMT asked.

"Cancer, it was aggressive and fast moving. They didn't have time." Ducky explained.

"Oh" The first EMT whispered.

The lights in the hospital hallway were sharply bright. The lights in Jethro's room were painfully dull. Jethro was haunted by memories of the last time he saw Anthony. This was the last place he wanted to be. It was a different ward in a different hospital, but it may as well have been the same room, same bed. He wished they had listened and not taken him. Normally they would not but he was considered incompetent. He was considered crazy. He wished that damn railing hadn't broken. He wished that he was with Tony. He wished that he would be happy again. He would never be happy again. Not without Anthony.

Lucky those were the words the doctor had used. Actually it was extremely lucky. Leroy Jethro Gibbs had gotten extremely lucky. Even after hanging himself and falling several feet when the railing broke. He managed to escape with only a serious case of whiplash and rope burn. He broke two ribs and injured his knee in the fall. Both were serious but considering there was nothing but pure luck keeping him from a broken neck. Those injuries were pretty minor. They would keep inpatient at least over night. From there he would have a psychiatric evaluation. More than likely a stay in a mental hospital would be the next step.

"He's asking for you." Anthony's doctor announced.

"Visiting hours are over." Ducky reminded.

"Special circumstances." The doctor explained.

Ducky made his way down the hall to Jethro's room. He knew he would be berated when he entered. The thing that hurt the most was knowing he would not have found Jethro if the railing had not broken. If he had not heard Jethro crash down to the floor. He would not have found him until morning or later. He would have been cold and void of life. Ducky knew that Jethro was desperately missing Anthony but he needed to keep fighting.

"Why the hell did you call for help?" Jethro demanded.

"I could not bear to watch you die on the floor." Ducky explained.

"But I don't want to fight." Jethro hissed.

"I know Jethro but Anthony wants you too." Ducky reminded.

"If Tony wanted me to fight. He wouldn't have given up so easily!" Jethro snapped.

"He did not give up easily." Ducky reminded.

"Then why is he dead?! Why did he die so soon?" Jethro demanded.

"The cancer was aggressive. There was nothing to be done. No matter how hard our dear Anthony fought." Ducky explained.

"He could have stayed longer." Jethro scoffed.

Gibbs buried his face in the pillow. With any luck he would suffocate. Being under suicide watch, an accidental suffocation was his only hope. He closed his eyes, fought to slow his breath and dozed off. Praying that he would wake in Tony's presence.

"Good Lord!" A nurse cried yanking the pillow off of his head.

"Leave me alone! Let me die!" Jethro pleaded.

Jethro had made another attempt on his life. He was so desperate to die, that he had tried to smother himself. He was lying up in the psych ward sobbing and begging for death. Doctors and nurses were coming out of his room every twenty minutes. He was an extreme suicide risk. He was facing at least seventy two hours. Once he was home. He could not be alone. Ducky would have to spend all of his time caring for Jethro. He did not mind but he felt bad knowing he would not be able to help the Palmer's out with Tali. He could not handle a suicidal Leroy Jethro Gibbs and an emotionally crushed Tali DiNozzo.

The psych ward. The fucking psych ward! Gibbs could not believe they had moved him up to the psych ward. He was absolutely livid. Ducky had betrayed his trust. Just letting him be taken up to the fucking psych ward. He did not want to be in this ward. Weren't there rules? Didn't he have the right to say no? He sure thought that he did. Apparently not though.

"GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" Jethro demanded.

Jethro had been sedated. He had begun to scream and demand to be released. When a nurse came to check him over. He attacked her. He grabbed her wrist and shoved her down onto the bed. She chipped a tooth and broke her glasses. She was shaken but going to be just fine. She was fine but Jethro was in hot water. They sedated him. He was going to be out most of the day. He was going to be in the hospital for a while. The words the doctors said at the end of this speech rang and bounced around in Ducky's head.

" _I am sorry that your friend may not get better."_

In his dreams Gibbs saw Tony. He saw the strong and healthy Tony he had come to love. The strong healthy Tony who had left the world far too soon. He saw Tony as a federal agent and in his first days as Tali's father. Even those first days back in the states. Even when Tony was sick. He was so strong. At least until the very end. He reached out to touch his son but he could never reach him. It was the cruelest feeling of all.

* * *

 **A/N: Will Tony be able to talk some sense into Tony? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	26. Gibbs and Tony

Leroy Jethro Gibbs never thought he would be locked in a mental hospital. At least not as a real patient. Maybe for an undercover mission but not because he had to be, not because he was sick. Not because he was pretty sure he was losing his mind. He had been suicidal after Shannon and Kelly died but this time was different. This time there was no voice begging him to keep fighting. He knew Tony would be furious if he killed himself but Tony wasn't here. Tony was dead and Gibbs was lost.

Tony knew the time had come to intervene. He only wished he had sooner. Before Gibbs ended up in the hospital. Then again it may not have made a difference. Gibbs tended to crumble when one of his own fail. He acted tough when Kate, Jenny, and even Mike went down, but Tony always knew. Maybe that was it. Maybe it was because Tony was the one who kept him sane. Because Tony was the one who made sure he kept moving forward. There was no Tony and everybody else was busy. McGee with the new baby, Bishop with her career, the Palmer's were busy with Tali. Ducky was over extended helping the Palmer's with Tali and with helping him. Abby had betrayed the team and Tony was gone. Leroy Jethro Gibbs was lost and Tony could not stand it any longer.

Another pointless therapy session. Group this time with four other adults who he had been lumped in with. Four other people who were depressed and mourning. Four people who were not Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Gibbs collapsed onto his bed. He just wanted to be alone but that would not happen. Therapies and meetings all day, constant checks all night. He knew toddlers with less supervision.

He closed his eyes and recalled the breathing exercise Shannon had taught him. They were teaching it in the hospital but he knew it from Shannon. Deep breaths, long, slow, deep breaths. One two three, long and slow. He remembered Shannon breathing like that and singing to Kelly during a thunder storm. He recalled teaching Tony that exercise. He couldn't remember the case. Just that it was not long after the plague and Tony was scared.

"Gibbs" Tony called.

"What now?" Gibbs groaned.

"It's me" Tony replied.

"How? You are dead?" Gibbs commented.

"Mike is dead. You talk to him all the time or you did." Tony reminded.

"What do you want?" Gibbs demanded.

"I wanted you to know that I am always here. I will always have your six. I want you to know that giving up is not an option. I want you to keep fighting." Tony explained.

"How can I?" Gibbs questioned.

"You entire family was murdered and you carried on. You can move on from me." Tony assured.

"I was young then. I could start a new family. I can't now." Gibbs explained.

"You don't have to." Tony reminded.

"Who?" Gibbs asked.

"The McGee's. Admiral McGee is dead. They have Delilah's dad but he isn't around here. Bishop needs a father figure nearby. Ducky needs his friend. Jimmy and Breena are OK but they have Tali and..." Tony explained.

"Everybody is helping Tali." Gibbs scoffed.

"I know but there is only one person who can help Tali now." Tony explained.

"Who?" Gibbs demanded.

"Her grandfather." Tony replied.

"So go to Senior." Gibbs hissed.

"No Gibbs you. She needs you. She needs the person with stories about me, the person who understands how it feels to lose everything." Tony explained.

"She won't get hope from me" Gibbs sighed

"She will if you tell her stories about me." Tony replied.

"She is a great kid" Gibbs admitted.

"She is and she sure does love you." Tony agreed.

"Did it hurt?" Gibbs asked.

"When I died?" Tony questioned.

"Uh-huh" Gibbs replied.

"When I first got sick and after the surgery it hurt. That chemo and radiation session I went through. Man I wouldn't wish that on anybody. After my seizure well they say I lapsed into a coma or sorts. The pain started to fade after that. By the time you were there. I didn't feel much. Don't get me wrong it still hurt but I was so out of it." Tony explained.

"I mean the actual process." Gibbs replied.

"Not really, no. I just kind of drifted away. The coma was so strong by then. Hearing is the last thing to go. Mine went sooner though. Maybe a stroke or something. The last thing I heard was Tali's voice. I heard her say she loved me. That was pretty great." Tony explained.

"She sure did love you." Gibbs agreed.

"She still loves me and she loves you too. She does not need to lose anybody else. Please keep fighting. If not for me. For Tali." Tony insisted.

"I'll keep fighting." Gibbs promised.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs woke in his room. This time the lights were switched off and night had fallen. The only lights were the dim hall light and the bright flood light outside his window. He rose in his bed and began desperately gasping for air. Tony. Talk about an out of body experience. He was still in hell but Tony was right. He had to keep fighting. Not just for himself but for the others, especially for Tali. Sweet little Tali. He was wrong to be jealous of her. He needed to be there for her. He needed to love and support her. Not put her down in favor of his own grief. Tony was gone and he was the only family she had left. He was Tony's dad and he had countless memories of her. As soon as he got out of this prison. He would go to her and he would make her see that life was worth living.

* * *

 **A/N: I will focus on Tali more in the next couple chapters. This story will be ending soon. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.**


	27. Life Goes On

It was late at night, Tali was the last one awake. The room she shared with Tori had been packed up except the beds, some clothes, and their most favorite toys. Bright and early she and the Palmer's would be moving to a new house a few blocks away. She would have her own room and so would Tori. They would be leaving the house where her Abba got sick. They had stayed there and he kept getting sicker. Then he went away and never came back. He was dead like her Ima. It completely broke her heart. She was alone. She was just the Palmer's adopted child. They did not want her. They wanted to adopt a baby not a toddler.

"Tali" Tony called.

"Abba?" Tali asked.

"I can't stay long. I just wanted to tell you. That I love you. You are my baby girl and I love you more than anything. I am sorry I left you." Tony explained.

"I'm scared." Tali admitted.

"I know but the Palmer's love you. They really do." Tony assured.

"Tori says they don't." Tali whispered.

"Tori is confused and scared as you are." Tony explained.

"Will I ever be happy again?" Tali asked.

"You will but you have to learn how to be happy. You have to see you are not alone. I may be gone but so many other people love you." Tony explained.

At twenty weeks Jimmy and Breena learned that they were having a boy. All the tests came back great and they would soon welcome their son. They knew the name before they were sure of the gender Anthony Palmer. Tali was thrilled to learn that her new brother would be named for her father. She was fascinated by the ultrasound images and every appointment they attended. She could not wait to be a big sister. Tori was a little more hesitant but was slowly coming around.

"Only five more weeks." Breena sighed as she eased into her chair.

"Or less." Jimmy reminded, recalling how Tori had come three weeks early.

"We're out of the danger zone. I wouldn't mind." Breena replied through gritted teeth. The pregnancy had been easy up until the last week. Suddenly she had ballooned up, she was sick all the time, everything made her feel nauseous, and her body ached constantly.

"Let's try to keep him in at least one more week." Jimmy replied,

Delilah waited in the car while McGee walked to Tony's grave. Even almost a year later he still could not believe that Tony was gone. So much had happened in that year. So much that Tony should have been there for. The Palmer's pregnancy, the birth of the McGee's son. Tali had grown and flourished in the recent months.

"Hey Tony, God I miss you. We all do. Delilah is in the car. I...I kind of needed to come alone today. John is in a mood anyway. That's our son. You would love him. Tali had another growth spurt last week. She's going to be taller than me soon. She is so beautiful. I...I'm sorry I can't be here anymore. I am doing better but the cemetery. I'll try to come back next week." McGee rambled.

Working for her hometown's small police department was incredibly dull compared to Bishop's previous careers. It was dull but it was away from DC. She had tried hard to stay but the memories just kept clawing at her. Memories of Tony and her failed marriage. The first time she had run away home, Gibbs had chased after her. This time he hugged her at the airport and made her promise to write. This time everybody needed to move on.

"Officer Bishop, you have a visitor." Bailey the receptionist announced.

"Who?" Bishop asked.

"Abby Sutto, Perscutio. Something like that." Bailey replied.

"Send her in." Bishop replied taken aback.

Abby paced nervously around the lobby. It had been nine months since she had seen anyone from NCIS. Not since just before Tony died. Her attitude had cost her time with her now deceased friend and damaged relationships with the remaining friends. It had not been easy but she had slowly come around and matured. She had gotten a couple of her tattoos removed and took out a few piercings. She still dyed her hair but had cut it to shoulder length and changed to a different type of dye. She still wore mostly black but her dress had matured. She missed her hardcore goth exterior but something had to change and that's what she could easily.

"Abby?" Bishop called.

"Bishop I am sorry for how I acted. When Tony was sick." Abby apologized.

"I know, now tell Gibbs. He needs the apology." Bishop replied.

"Him and McGee are next." Abby replied.

"Good" Bishop replied.

"I miss you." Abby said.

"I missed you too." Bishop replied.

One thing Tali's therapist suggested was time with somebody who knew her Abba. Gibbs' therapist had suggested that he find somebody who did not know Tony. It was a perfect match. Gibbs could remember his boy and Tali could hear stories of her Abba. On that particular afternoon the Palmer's had gone to deliver Baby Anthony. Leaving Tali with her grandfather.

"So after years of being told he couldn't even keep a goldfish alive. Your Abba storms into the pet store and buys a gold fish, food, bowl the whole nine yards. Kate lived two years and Ziva lived three." Gibbs explained.

"Jimmy and Breena had Kate until last summer. She died right before Ziva." Tali corrected.

"I sneezed and dropped the bowl but that's just between us." Gibbs whispered.

"It's mean to lie Grandpa Gibbs." Tali reminded.

"I know but Ziva had just left and I felt terrible." Gibbs explained.

Anthony James Palmer was born at four fifteen in the morning after thirteen hours of labor. He weighed seven pounds, nine ounces and measured nineteen inches. He was perfect in every way. He did not replace Tony DiNozzo. Nobody could, what he could do was begin to heal broken hearts.

The time since Tony passed turned to a year. The year turned to years, years turned to decades. Before long a half century had passed. Tali was now a grown woman of fifty four. Her once messy black hair was now pulled into a bun with streaks of gray scattered throughout. Her green eyes were once again filled with joy, but crows feet had formed at the bottom. Her permanent frown had long since faded to a near constant smile. Laugh lines from decades of joy were etched into her once baby faced skin. She never forgot her Abba, but she had learned how to live without him. She graduated high school with honors and went on to study at Yale. From there came medical school, and she was now an Ultrasound Technician. Over the years the babies on her wall changed and she had the occasional later childhood and adult picture hung throughout. Two pictures remained forever from her first day as a young intern and would remain until the day she retired an old woman. Her father and mother in Paris, and her brother Tony's anatomy ultrasound. Death and birth, old life and new.

"By all means bring your daughter. Grief is horrible for a child and different for every child, but there is something special about seeing an ultrasound." Tali told her patient.

"We will be there at four." The woman replied.

"What is your son's name?" Tali asked.

"It's Tali actually." The woman replied.

"And your late husband's name if you don't mind me asking?" Tali questioned.

"Tony" The woman replied.

"Very well Mrs. Palmer and I am sorry for your loss." Tali replied before hanging up the phone. Her Abba and Jimmy were right. Life really did go on.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry for the abrupt ending but I was out of ideas aside from Tony meeting Tali and the birth of Anthony Palmer.**


End file.
